"He has huge f***ing balls or he's f***ing crazy"

Kendall is up first for the Fantasy Suite dates.  They go dune buggying and surfing on large sand dunes in Peru.  It looks like fun.  Kendall, though, is worried about not being able to get to the point in their relationship to accept a proposal.  During the evening portion of the date, she does tell Arie she's falling in love with him, and Arie, at this point sounding like a broken record, tells yet another girl he's falling for her.  Arie pulls out the Fantasy Suite card, and they go have some uninterrupted, camera-free time.  We can infer that they had sex, since Kendall's response to Arie in the morning when he asks how she feels after last night is "you're dirty," to which Arie responds, "emotionally, not physically."  They make-out a bit and repeat to each other that they're falling in love before Arie has to go on his next date.

Lauren B. is up next.  They fly around and look at Nazca lines.  It's the Paris date all over again- she has walls up and says it's been hard and she's thought about leaving.  Arie is concerned.  That evening though, they break through a wall, and Arie tells her he loves her and she says she loves him back.  The rest of the evening and the morning after their Fantasy Suite is mostly them making out and saying I love yous.

Becca gets the last date, and they ride around on a catamaran and then go out on the dunes at night.  She says I love you and Arie pulls a Ben H and tells a second girl he loves them.  Their Fantasy Suite is a tent on the dunes, and have a morning picnic in the sand filled with more I love yous.

Now for the real drama: some guy shows up to win back his girl!  This guy is named Ross and goes to Arie first.  He has a monologue about how he heard Becca was on the show and that the show ends in a proposal and he started reaching out to everyone he could and then flew a red-eye to Peru when he found them.  He also mentioned multiple times that he would have swam there if he had to.  Arie asks him some questions, so we find out that Ross and Becca dated for 7 years and broke up a year ago.  Arie is angry, and Ross runs off to find Becca.  Becca is not thrilled to see him.  He gives a little speech about wanting her back and she tells him they aren't living in The Notebook.  It is clear Becca is not going to run off with him, so, to his credit, Ross says "I wish you guys the best; I had not business being here."  Becca goes to check in with Arie to make sure this doesn't ruin her chances with him.

And now time for what I can only imagine is the most awkward of rose ceremonies: all of them know the other two women there probably just slept with Arie too.  Arie pulls Kendall aside to break up with her.  Kendall cries in the leaving car, while Arie gives Lauren and Becca roses and an awkward toast.

Next week we're promised lots of this:

(sorry for the terrible quality- I just took a picture of my computer screen...)

"If you hurt her, I can find you on Google"

Arie meets four girls' skeptical families this week on The Bachelor.

"Kendall is not your average girl"

Arie and Kendall return to LA for Kendall's hometown date.  And since Kendall's the quirky taxidermist, she takes Arie to a warehouse full of taxidermied animals where they taxidermy their own mice, dress them in little wedding clothes, and put them in a Paris diorama.  Arie was a bit creeped out, but pushed through because he might get to sleep with this blonde chick next week in an exotic location.

Kendall then introduces Arie to her mom, dad, brother, and twin sister.  Kendall's mom tells her to follow her heart, Kendall's dad can't give his blessing to Arie, but says if Kendall wants it, she has their support, Kendall's twin, Kylie, thinks it's a problem that Kendall's response to Arie saying he's falling for her was just to kiss her and tells her she needs to tell Arie how she feels.  She does.

"To Airy and Tia maybe"

Next Arie meets Tia in Arkansas, and just in case you hadn't realized she was southern, they raced cars on a muddy track.  Then Tia introduces Arie to her parents, brother, aunt, and cousin.  They've all been surfing the web and grill Arie on being a playboy.  Arie asks the second dad for his daughter's hand, and Tia's dad says he'll trust Tia on that front.

"Is Becca the real deal or are we wasting our time here?"

Moving back west a little, Arie meets Becca K in Minneapolis, MN for some apple picking and talking of a dead dad.  Becca's family are protective, especially Pastor Uncle Gary who took over father figure duties when Becca's dad passed.  Becca's mom tells Becca she'd be sad if she left Minnesota, but just wants her to be happy.  Since dad's not around, Arie asks mom for her blessing.  Becca's mom says she'll honor Becca's choice.  That being said, she tells Arie, "I really like you and you've really done well with my weird family."

"I trust Lauren.  I have to have faith in that."

The last hometown is back east at Virginia Beach.  Lauren B. and Arie ride horses on the beach and toast with crab legs.  Arie is the most nervous about this meet the parents.  He barely makes it minutes into dinner before having to go mop sweat off his brow.  Lauren's dad is a veteran and Arie thanks him for his service and talks about a goodwill tour to Afghanistan he and some other race care drivers went on in 2008 (side note: Lauren was 15 when Arie did this).  This wins dad over.  Asked for his blessing, dad says he trusts Lauren.  And it's four for four of the parents telling Arie their daughters are not for them to give to them!

"Who is he deciding between?"

Back at Bachelor Mansion one last time, Arie has to send one of the girls whose family he told he was falling for them home.  He can barely get the words out.  He pulls Kendall aside to ask if she thinks she can get to engaged in the next two weeks.  She doesn't say yes, but doesn't say no either...  The other three girls are confused and nervous.  They come back and Arie gives roses to Becca and Lauren.  Chris Harrison makes his obligatory appearance to inform the girls of the last rose, which is then given to Kendall.  Arie walks a sobbing Tia out.  Which just rolls right into the previews for next week, which is just sounds of girls sobbing.

"I need to talk to you about this week and take a sip of your wine."

This week brings the remaining 7 ladies and Arie to Tuscany, a region in Italy.  Chris Harrison greets the girls to inform them that there is no rose ceremony at the end of the week, rather, all of the roses will be handed out on dates: three one-on-ones and one group date.  Three of them will go home, and the other four will also go home next week, but with Arie in tow to meet their skeptical families.

First up: Becca K, who we really haven't seen much of since she had the very first one-on-one this season.  They wander around the cute Italian city of Barga, buying bread and cheese and wine for a romantic picnic.  They chat and kiss and then at dinner Becca says all the right things for Arie to be "really, really, really hopeful" for them and give her the rose.  They kiss some more against a stone wall, because that's what Arie is good at.

Later, at the hotel, Jaqueline's been having doubts, and decides to go talk to Arie.  She knocks on his door, Arie lets her in, she immediately takes a huge sip of his wine.  Jaqueline tells Arie she was swept off her feet last week, but she knows she doesn't have the confidence the other girls have for bringing Arie home to meet her family.  They hug and kiss a ton, and then Jaqueline says goodbye.  Arie is sad, but respects her decision.  Jaqueline feels like she sucks at being happy, and goes to say goodbye to the other girls.

Next up: Lauren B. gets a one-on-one two weeks in a row!  They bike around Lucca, Arie shows off some tricks he did in high school, and like their date in Paris, Lauren says very little.  She does observe that Lucca, an Italian city, is "very Italian," so there's that.  They eat pizza, and it's clearly too boring for national TV, so the producers bribe some kids to throw a soccer ball at them so they can "spontaneously" play some soccer with cute Italian kids.  That evening, Arie tries yet again to get Lauren to open up.  She admits to falling in love with him.  He stares for a second then excuses himself to wander off.  He comes back to tell her he's falling deeply in love with her and give her the rose.

Sienne gets the last one-on-one this week.  They go truffle hunting with Giulio and his dog Miga, and are then invited over for lunch.  They make pizza and pasta from scratch with Giulio's family, who grill them both on love.  After eating, the nice Italian family chants "bacio" at them, and they indulge them and kiss.  That evening they chat some more and Arie tells Sienne he just isn't feeling it.  Sienna goes home.

And it's time for the last group date.  Bekah M., Tia, and Kendall go to Villa Reale- an estate once owned by Napoleon's sister.  Anyway, Kendall and Arie chat and kiss.  Tia tells Arie Bekah isn't ready to settle down.  Tia tells Bekah she told Arie she's not ready to settle down.  Bekah cries and goes running to Arie.  He soothes her, they kiss, and Bekah shows off her gray hairs.  Arie gives Kendall a rose, and sends her off to have a two-on-one date with Bekah and Tia.  He talks to them both again.  Tia says she's still falling in love with him and Bekah asks him to have a little faith in her.  Buuuut, he doesn't keep the faith, and Tia get the rose.  Bekah cries.  The end.