We start with the typical Finale intro with clips of the lead being indecisive about their decision. And, since this is the Finale, we are watching it live with Chris Harrison and a studio audience. Chris Harrison promises us this will be a tearjerker.
On to the Maldives, where Becca is comparing the two relationships. She muses that "with Garrett, it's been a little slower" which is meaningless considering he got the first impression rose AND the first kiss. Anyway, before she gets one last date with the final two, they get to meet Becca's family. Becca's uncles, mom, and sister are there to grill the guys. Both guys make good impressions on the family and tell her she can't make a bad choice. Becca was hoping her family would help her pick. She tells them she thought it'd be Blake from the beginning, but Garrett snuck up on her. She says she "doesn't want to hurt anyone, ever," to which her mom says, "well, it's going to happen."
Garrett's last date was actually pretty cool: they took a boat out to the equator and saw tons of dolphins. On Blake's last date, they just biked around and made-out on a beach. Both men then get a one-on-one with Neil Lane to pick out a ring.
Garrett and Blake take pensive boat rides to the rose ceremony. Blake is up first, and Becca lets him give a lovey speech before stopping him right before he was clearly ready to propose. She tells him he wasn't wrong in feeling like they were on the same page and he leaves to sob in a towel. They cut to Blake sitting with Chris Harrison in the "live" portion of the finale. He says it was difficult to watch (duh). They chat about closure and stuff and Blake says he's glad Becca's happy. Which is good, because now he has to watch Garrett propose to the girl of his dreams.
Back in the Maldives, Garrett begins his speech, and Becca interrupts him to finally say she loves him back. He proposes, they get engaged, they drink lots of champagne, and Becca gives him the final rose.
Now it's officially After the Final Rose where Becca and Garrett can be a couple in public for the first time. They pay some lip service to Neil Lane, watch a cutesy video of their secret weekends post show together, and check in on the rose bush they planted in Manteca during Garrett's hometown. Then Garrett addresses some social media faux pas in the vaguest way, sort of apologizing but not really taking responsibility for his actions. Apparently (and I had to look this up afterward), Garrett liked some transphobic, xenophobic, right-wing garbage posts on instagram and the internet was not okay with it. Becca claims she got to know Garrett away from social media so she knows his soul or whatever, which kind of sounds like saving face, considering she is a fairly outspoken liberal on social media. Anyway, after pretending to be serious for a minute, Chris Harrison sends the happy couple outside where a minivan is waiting for them (license plate: FNLROSE), an homage to Garrett's "limo" entrance.
We end the finale with a preview for Bachelor in Paradise, which promises lots of pretty people crying on the beach.
Showing posts with label after the final rose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label after the final rose. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2018
Monday, March 19, 2018
"Arie is a wanker"
We start this Live Finale Day Two off with a lengthy recap of Arie proposing to and then breaking up with Becca, as if we didn't just watch it the night before.
We see a montage of Becca going home to snowy Minnesota and being sad. Then we see Arie having a panic attack in front of Lauren's house. He shouldn't have worried- Lauren practically throws herself at him when he knocks on the door. They apparently have talked on the phone, so she knows he broke it off with Becca. Lauren says it's been tough. Arie says he let logic win over his heart and that he's "1000 percent" over Becca. She forgives him and hints that she wants to get engaged.
Chris Harrison talks to Bekah, Tia, Kendall, Sienne, and Caroline, who all claim they love Lauren, but man, does Arie suck. They all agree he probably should have broken the engagement off camera and Sienne says it was especially shitty of Arie to get affirmation from Lauren before breaking his engagement. He was making it sound like a huge risk, but really, he knew he'd still get Lauren. They all bash Arie for a while, and then Becca comes out. She gets a standing ovation, and Chris Harrison talks about how fans just LOVE her. There are apparently billboards up in Minneapolis and LA, and someone started a "buy Becca a drink" fundraiser which raised over $6,000. Becca says she'll donate it to the non-profit Stand Up to Cancer. Chris says ABC will match the donation. So at least something good is coming out of this dumb show.
Arie comes out next to face Becca. They chat and he says he regrets proposing when he wasn't 100% sure. Becca says she's ready to close this chapter of her life. Since Arie's not the first Bachelor to break up with his final pick and get together with the runner up, we get an interview with Jason and Molly Mesnick who have been married for 8 years. They say it was easier back then since there was no social media. Jason says Arie seems like a nice guy, but being on this show can really mess you up. Arie says he's just trying to do what's best for him. Then they bring Lauren out. Chris says to her, "I can't imagine what's going through your head right now," to which Lauren responds, "yeah, me neither," so I guess we'll never know.
Chris talks to Lauren - she's completely forgiven Arie and is so in love. Arie proposes to a fairly tepid response from the audience, which includes both Lauren and Arie's families. That wrapped up quickly and it's on to announcing our next Bachelorette. Unsurprisingly, Becca has been chosen. The other girls from Arie's season come up to gush about Becca. And then, like they did for Rachel's season, they set up a Bachelor Mansion backdrop, and Becca meets five of her suitors:
1. Lincoln has a bowtie and an accent and a very long speech.
2. Chase wants to be Becca's open door (from the "one door closes, another opens" cliche).
3. Ryan has a banjo and sings a song about Becca.
4. Darius apologizes on behalf of the male gender.
5. Blake comes out with his horse Bradley so he can help Becca get back on the horse, so to speak.
And that's it for Season 22 of The Bachelor!
We see a montage of Becca going home to snowy Minnesota and being sad. Then we see Arie having a panic attack in front of Lauren's house. He shouldn't have worried- Lauren practically throws herself at him when he knocks on the door. They apparently have talked on the phone, so she knows he broke it off with Becca. Lauren says it's been tough. Arie says he let logic win over his heart and that he's "1000 percent" over Becca. She forgives him and hints that she wants to get engaged.
Chris Harrison talks to Bekah, Tia, Kendall, Sienne, and Caroline, who all claim they love Lauren, but man, does Arie suck. They all agree he probably should have broken the engagement off camera and Sienne says it was especially shitty of Arie to get affirmation from Lauren before breaking his engagement. He was making it sound like a huge risk, but really, he knew he'd still get Lauren. They all bash Arie for a while, and then Becca comes out. She gets a standing ovation, and Chris Harrison talks about how fans just LOVE her. There are apparently billboards up in Minneapolis and LA, and someone started a "buy Becca a drink" fundraiser which raised over $6,000. Becca says she'll donate it to the non-profit Stand Up to Cancer. Chris says ABC will match the donation. So at least something good is coming out of this dumb show.
Arie comes out next to face Becca. They chat and he says he regrets proposing when he wasn't 100% sure. Becca says she's ready to close this chapter of her life. Since Arie's not the first Bachelor to break up with his final pick and get together with the runner up, we get an interview with Jason and Molly Mesnick who have been married for 8 years. They say it was easier back then since there was no social media. Jason says Arie seems like a nice guy, but being on this show can really mess you up. Arie says he's just trying to do what's best for him. Then they bring Lauren out. Chris says to her, "I can't imagine what's going through your head right now," to which Lauren responds, "yeah, me neither," so I guess we'll never know.
Chris talks to Lauren - she's completely forgiven Arie and is so in love. Arie proposes to a fairly tepid response from the audience, which includes both Lauren and Arie's families. That wrapped up quickly and it's on to announcing our next Bachelorette. Unsurprisingly, Becca has been chosen. The other girls from Arie's season come up to gush about Becca. And then, like they did for Rachel's season, they set up a Bachelor Mansion backdrop, and Becca meets five of her suitors:
1. Lincoln has a bowtie and an accent and a very long speech.
2. Chase wants to be Becca's open door (from the "one door closes, another opens" cliche).
3. Ryan has a banjo and sings a song about Becca.
4. Darius apologizes on behalf of the male gender.
5. Blake comes out with his horse Bradley so he can help Becca get back on the horse, so to speak.
And that's it for Season 22 of The Bachelor!
Friday, March 16, 2018
"Well you finally saw me cry."
Rather than promising us the most dramatic finale ever, Chris Harrison starts this show promising us that "Arie is about to become the most controversial bachelor in history!" And he was right, if you define controversial as most people ended up being pissed off at Arie's actions. It ended up being a pretty one sided controversy. But let's get into it!
Back in Peru, Lauren B. and Becca K. meet Arie's family. Lauren goes first. She "hope[s] that [she doesn't] freak out and act weird." She doesn't and Arie's family loves her. Turns out they'll like Becca just the same, but it doesn't seem like that to Becca since every one of Arie's family mentioned Lauren while talking to her. This does not please Becca since she and Lauren are like "an apple and a starfish" and I really want to know which one she thinks she is.
After meeting both potential daughter-in-laws, the family debriefs. They tall Arie he can't make a wrong choice. Arie pontificates and says it makes more sense and has been easy with Becca, but there's an undeniable love with Lauren. Mom tells him Becca is the smart choice. Arie just doesn't know and keeps repeating how this is the biggest decision of his life since it will change his life FOREVER (but more realistically, for the next 4-6 months).
For some reason, Chris Harrison has Caroline from this season on to chat about this situation. She says pretty much exactly what she said at Women Tell All. She adds that she doesn't think Arie knows what he wants, which isn't really an interesting take considering we just heard Arie monologue about not knowing what to do.
Lauren gets a pretty cool last date - Arie takes her to Machu Picchu. They make out among ruins and Arie comments how Lauren has really opened up and relaxed after he told her he loved her. Which makes sense, considering that's like the biggest rule on this show: the lead can't say I love you! So if he says it, it must mean something. Lauren is afraid of losing Arie, but is pretty sure he'll pick her since he's reassured her so much and has really given her no reason to think otherwise.
Chris Harrison now asks Sienne and Bekah M. their thoughts on the situation. Sienne thinks Arie was looking for reassurance from his family about picking Lauren and didn't get it. Bekah says if Arie is this conflicted, he probably shouldn't propose (no duh).
Becca gets a boring last date compared to Lauren. They do a standard one-on-one date of walking around a foreign market. They do get to pet some cute alpacas. Becca gives Arie a scrapbook of cute couple picks (with empty pages for their wedding and future babies) and reads him a love letter. Arie feels overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do.
Back in the studio, Chris Harrison has brought on Ben, who also told two women he loved them, and Jason, who broke up with his final pick and asked the runner up for another chance (they are now married). Ben says Arie has to own up to what he's done. Jason says he should just be himself (even though that doesn't seem to be working out for Arie).
Arie's feeling guilty about giving confidence to both women and still doesn't know what to do. He meets with Neil Lane anyway and gets a ring.
Lauren gets the first rose ceremony. She gives Arie an I love you/I finally found what I've been looking for speech, to which Arie shakes his head and says he can't go through with it. Lauren doesn't know what to say. Arie says he did fall in love with her. Lauren says she's confused. Arie "feel[s] a little bit like a monster right now" and Lauren "feel[s] betrayed."
Becca's rose ceremony is a bit happier, seeing as Arie proposes to her and gives her the final rose. Becca is thrilled, obviously, and Arie seems happy. Chris Harrison's been promising us DRAMA though, so we know this isn't going to end well.
We get a nice montage of Arie and Becca doing cute couple-y things. Becca is interviewed, excited about a "happy couples weekend" she and Arie are about to have. Arie is interviewed and he's (dun dun dun) planning to call off the engagement because he keeps thinking about Lauren.
Chris Harrison tells us this will be the "most emotional scene ever" and that they are going to show us it in it's un-cut entirety.
We get a nice split screen once Arie and Becca sit down, so we can see both of their faces. Arie tells Becca she's everything he's wanted, but he can't stop thinking about Lauren. Becca responds, appropriately: "are you fucking kidding me?" She takes off the ring and Arie continues to babble about how conflicted he was and how he's been struggling. She eventually say's "Ok, I'm done" and walks away. Arie follows, to which Becca says, "I'm not gonna, like, hug you goodbye." He still wants to talk. Becca is not having it. She asks him to leave. He lingers. She tells him to go. He sits on the couch. This goes on and on for a while and it is extremely uncomfortable to watch. He FINALLY goes for real and Becca cries some more.
Back with Chris Harrison and out live studio audience, Becca gets a lot of cheering. Chris Harrison promises us that tomorrow, Becca will see Arie for the first time since that break up. Plus Lauren will be there. Caroline, Bekah, Sienne, Tia, and Kendall all run up to hug Becca.
After the Final Rose Part Two will be recapped in my next post, as this is getting long.
For some reason, Chris Harrison has Caroline from this season on to chat about this situation. She says pretty much exactly what she said at Women Tell All. She adds that she doesn't think Arie knows what he wants, which isn't really an interesting take considering we just heard Arie monologue about not knowing what to do.
Lauren gets a pretty cool last date - Arie takes her to Machu Picchu. They make out among ruins and Arie comments how Lauren has really opened up and relaxed after he told her he loved her. Which makes sense, considering that's like the biggest rule on this show: the lead can't say I love you! So if he says it, it must mean something. Lauren is afraid of losing Arie, but is pretty sure he'll pick her since he's reassured her so much and has really given her no reason to think otherwise.
Chris Harrison now asks Sienne and Bekah M. their thoughts on the situation. Sienne thinks Arie was looking for reassurance from his family about picking Lauren and didn't get it. Bekah says if Arie is this conflicted, he probably shouldn't propose (no duh).
Becca gets a boring last date compared to Lauren. They do a standard one-on-one date of walking around a foreign market. They do get to pet some cute alpacas. Becca gives Arie a scrapbook of cute couple picks (with empty pages for their wedding and future babies) and reads him a love letter. Arie feels overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do.
Back in the studio, Chris Harrison has brought on Ben, who also told two women he loved them, and Jason, who broke up with his final pick and asked the runner up for another chance (they are now married). Ben says Arie has to own up to what he's done. Jason says he should just be himself (even though that doesn't seem to be working out for Arie).
Arie's feeling guilty about giving confidence to both women and still doesn't know what to do. He meets with Neil Lane anyway and gets a ring.
Lauren gets the first rose ceremony. She gives Arie an I love you/I finally found what I've been looking for speech, to which Arie shakes his head and says he can't go through with it. Lauren doesn't know what to say. Arie says he did fall in love with her. Lauren says she's confused. Arie "feel[s] a little bit like a monster right now" and Lauren "feel[s] betrayed."
Becca's rose ceremony is a bit happier, seeing as Arie proposes to her and gives her the final rose. Becca is thrilled, obviously, and Arie seems happy. Chris Harrison's been promising us DRAMA though, so we know this isn't going to end well.
We get a nice montage of Arie and Becca doing cute couple-y things. Becca is interviewed, excited about a "happy couples weekend" she and Arie are about to have. Arie is interviewed and he's (dun dun dun) planning to call off the engagement because he keeps thinking about Lauren.
Chris Harrison tells us this will be the "most emotional scene ever" and that they are going to show us it in it's un-cut entirety.
We get a nice split screen once Arie and Becca sit down, so we can see both of their faces. Arie tells Becca she's everything he's wanted, but he can't stop thinking about Lauren. Becca responds, appropriately: "are you fucking kidding me?" She takes off the ring and Arie continues to babble about how conflicted he was and how he's been struggling. She eventually say's "Ok, I'm done" and walks away. Arie follows, to which Becca says, "I'm not gonna, like, hug you goodbye." He still wants to talk. Becca is not having it. She asks him to leave. He lingers. She tells him to go. He sits on the couch. This goes on and on for a while and it is extremely uncomfortable to watch. He FINALLY goes for real and Becca cries some more.
Back with Chris Harrison and out live studio audience, Becca gets a lot of cheering. Chris Harrison promises us that tomorrow, Becca will see Arie for the first time since that break up. Plus Lauren will be there. Caroline, Bekah, Sienne, Tia, and Kendall all run up to hug Becca.
After the Final Rose Part Two will be recapped in my next post, as this is getting long.
Monday, April 24, 2017
Finale... Finally
Just in case I actually have a readership, I figured I should maybe recap the finale of Nick's season.
Still in Finland, Raven and Vanessa get to meet (well, re-meet in Raven's case) Nick's family. Unsurprisingly, the family likes both of the women.
Vanessa gets the first last one-on-one date with Nick. They go horseback riding and then are way to excited about meeting Santa Clause, who gives them a wood carving that vaguely resembles the two of them. Vanessa says "it's nice to hear Santa Clause believes in a future between Nick and I," as if Santa wouldn't have said that to any couple who he presumably gets paid to act jolly for.
Vanessa and Nick then have a discussion they both leave unhappy with. Vanessa says she's not comfortable if Nick chooses her just because it's a slightly better relationship than one he has with someone else, and it's a good point, but no matter how much better Nick's relationship with Vanessa might be, he's not allowed to tell her because that's no fun for the audience!
Nick and Raven then have their date. They go ice skating and then Nick brings out a bunch of husky puppies for Raven to play with and I don't care if he breaks up with her, Raven is the real winner of Finland. Raven says "I hope my kids with Nick are as cute as these puppies," and I hate to break it to her, but nothing is as cute as those puppies.
Anyway, Raven tells Nick she has no hesitations about their relationship, and Nick babbles at her. At this point it's obvious who is going to win: Vanessa was crying at the end of her last date and Raven is soooo confident and I see what you're trying to pull, producers, but there's no way you're not going to show Vanessa emotionally winning and confident Raven get heartbroken.
Nick then gets to meet with Neil Lane for, what, the fourth time? He picks out what I hope is the largest diamond yet.
Then we have the rose ceremony. Raven's up first, gives a speech, and despite Nick's very drawn out words, Raven (and everyone watching) knows immediately he's breaking up with her. She leaves and Vanessa shows up. Vanessa tells Chris Harrison, "I'm nervous," and Chris Harrison says, "you should be," which I'm sure didn't help.
Vanessa goes in and Nick launches into his I love you speech. He says "I'm glad I don't have to try not to say it," which is actually pretty sweet. They sleigh ride into the sunset.
But not really, because we have After the Final Rose where Chris Harrison asks questions that makes it seems like he really wanted Nick to have been runner up once again. We find out Raven is heading to Bachelor in Paradise and that Vanessa is moving to LA.
The, "it's like the queen has arrive" with Rachel coming out for an "epic surprise" (Chris Harrison's words, not mine).
That surprise is that Rachel gets to meet four of her suitors live on ATFR! It's awkward and a little cringe-y, especially when a white dude says he's "ready to go black and [he's] never gonna go back." Oof. Despite that, I am still excited for Rachel's season!!!
Still in Finland, Raven and Vanessa get to meet (well, re-meet in Raven's case) Nick's family. Unsurprisingly, the family likes both of the women.
Vanessa gets the first last one-on-one date with Nick. They go horseback riding and then are way to excited about meeting Santa Clause, who gives them a wood carving that vaguely resembles the two of them. Vanessa says "it's nice to hear Santa Clause believes in a future between Nick and I," as if Santa wouldn't have said that to any couple who he presumably gets paid to act jolly for.
Vanessa and Nick then have a discussion they both leave unhappy with. Vanessa says she's not comfortable if Nick chooses her just because it's a slightly better relationship than one he has with someone else, and it's a good point, but no matter how much better Nick's relationship with Vanessa might be, he's not allowed to tell her because that's no fun for the audience!
Nick and Raven then have their date. They go ice skating and then Nick brings out a bunch of husky puppies for Raven to play with and I don't care if he breaks up with her, Raven is the real winner of Finland. Raven says "I hope my kids with Nick are as cute as these puppies," and I hate to break it to her, but nothing is as cute as those puppies.
Anyway, Raven tells Nick she has no hesitations about their relationship, and Nick babbles at her. At this point it's obvious who is going to win: Vanessa was crying at the end of her last date and Raven is soooo confident and I see what you're trying to pull, producers, but there's no way you're not going to show Vanessa emotionally winning and confident Raven get heartbroken.
Nick then gets to meet with Neil Lane for, what, the fourth time? He picks out what I hope is the largest diamond yet.
Then we have the rose ceremony. Raven's up first, gives a speech, and despite Nick's very drawn out words, Raven (and everyone watching) knows immediately he's breaking up with her. She leaves and Vanessa shows up. Vanessa tells Chris Harrison, "I'm nervous," and Chris Harrison says, "you should be," which I'm sure didn't help.
Vanessa goes in and Nick launches into his I love you speech. He says "I'm glad I don't have to try not to say it," which is actually pretty sweet. They sleigh ride into the sunset.
The End.
But not really, because we have After the Final Rose where Chris Harrison asks questions that makes it seems like he really wanted Nick to have been runner up once again. We find out Raven is heading to Bachelor in Paradise and that Vanessa is moving to LA.
The, "it's like the queen has arrive" with Rachel coming out for an "epic surprise" (Chris Harrison's words, not mine).
That surprise is that Rachel gets to meet four of her suitors live on ATFR! It's awkward and a little cringe-y, especially when a white dude says he's "ready to go black and [he's] never gonna go back." Oof. Despite that, I am still excited for Rachel's season!!!
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
"It's real. It's been real."
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| Half of this episode was JoJo crying and saying "I don't know" |
Finally we get to go to Phuket, Thailand, where Jordan and Robby get to meet JoJo's family. She tells her family she thinks she loves both of them and "when I'm with Robby, I think of Jordan. When I'm with Jordan, in the back of my head, I think of Robby."
Jordan gets to meet the family first. He shows up and gives everyone silly hats and then it's time for questions. JoJo's mom asks Jordan how he will manage her trust issues. His answer doesn't seem to satisfy her because she tells JoJo she's worried because Jordan is too similar to JoJo and mom's worried that she's blinded by his charm. This is the same mom that told JoJo that she had nothing to worry about with Ben for no other reason except she's beautiful. Then Jordan talks to JoJo's dad and notably does not ask for permission for JoJo's hand in marriage, which will become the scandal of the episode.
Anyway, it's Robby's turn to ingratiate himself with the family. He kills it: professes his love, asks for the parent's blessing to marry her, and even her dad got choked up. JoJo's mom tells Robby she's giving him a princess and he needs to "make her the queen of your heart," so that happened.
After he leaves, JoJo sits down with her parents and two brothers and I think her sister, who says nothing and only occasionally appears in a shot, what they think. They all tell her Robby is perfect. She gets upset and says she doesn't know and why can't they just pick for her because Jordan's great too. One of her brothers points out that maybe she really wants Jordan since she keeps defending him. Good thing JoJo still has one date left with each man to figure it out.
On JoJo and Robby's date, Robby says he wants to get her pregnant like, yesterday. "You have a heart of gold," JoJo says, and Robby whispers, "you're a heartbreaker" as he leans in for a kiss and FORESHADOWING MUCH?
On JoJo and Jordan's date, they argue about why Jordan didn't ask her father for permission to marry her. Jordan says it didn't feel right when he didn't know how she felt and there's still another guy in the picture and JoJo cries because why isn't Jordan just doing exactly what she wants so she has no excuse not to pick him.
Both men then meet with Neil Lane and picked out gaudy diamond rings. Jordan then takes a page out of Ben's books and calls JoJo's parents to ask for their blessing. He then writes a note to JoJo to let her know. Robby also writes a note, so we get to see JoJo cry about how hard her decision is even more.
After some montages of the guys starting shirtless and then getting dressed in blue suits while their engagement rings sit nearby, it's time for the final rose. Robby shows up first to the final rose locale, meaning it's game over. Luckily, JoJo doesn't make him give his whole speech before interrupting and sending him home. They both cry, and then JoJo quickly dries her eyes so Jordan can come make all her dreams come true.
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| What is with all the baskets and urns?? |
If you're going to miss all the drama, and have missed Chad since he went home, then have no fear, because Bachelor in Paradise will be gracing your televisions for the rest of the summer!
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
"I don't want to say goodbye to you"
First off, our favorite host Chris Harrison welcomes us to what might be the wedding of Ben and his lucky lady! Chris has pulled out all the stops: both girl's families are waiting backstage (notably absent are JoJo's brothers), Ben's parents AND their hometown pastor are in attendance, and Neil Lane is in the front row with some wedding bands in tow. But first, we have to go back to Jamaica.
We start with some pensive-stare-at-water shots of the three. Ben has no idea what to do and hopes his parents will just make the decision for him. Lauren thinks everything feels so right with Ben. JoJo thinks she's finally in a fairy tale, which makes me wonder what fairy tales she read as a kid.
Ben briefs the 'rents on the two ladies and how he loves them both. Mom says "it's really disturbing to me," and Bachelor viewers across the country nod in agreement.
Lauren's up first and it's wholly undramatic. She's poised and sweet and tells Ben's parents how much she loves him. She tells Mama Higgens how she can't believe she's gotten to fall in love with someone so perfect and mom just laughs.
JoJo comes bearing a tacky shell/flower arrangement as a gift. Ben tells his parents about moments he and JoJo has shared and said they flew over Hoover Dam in a helicopter but didn't get to see it because wink wink nudge nudge. JoJo gets rightfully embaressed and Ben's mom asks "too much cuddle time?" It was an awkward thing for Ben to bring up, almost as awkward as Nick V. telling his mom that he liked making out with Kaitlyn.
You can see where Ben gets his weird "you're too happy I need to see you cry" thing, as it appears Ben's mom likes JoJo better since they've "already gone through some non-ideal situations" and JoJo mentions how Ben has faults. Ben's mom seems to think Ben can't take care of himself and implies that she likes JoJo better for Ben since she already knows he's not perfect.
Ben's parents like them both, though, and Ben's frustrated he still doesn't know who to propose to. Or, as his mom said, "who to plant his stake with," and I don't know if that's a saying in Indiana or just really bad sexual innuendo.
Lauren's last chance to win Ben includes a boat ride and a vague question and answer session. Ben's biggest concern is that it's too perfect, and Ben, that's what most people are going for.
JoJo's final time with Ben includes another waterfall and crying in a bathroom. JoJo asks Ben if he loves Lauren too and if she knows and Ben says yes to both. JoJo says she's tired of competing, and, well, you did sign up for a show where you compete for a husband, so...
Ben's distressed, but luckily we have Neil Lane and his gaudy expensive diamonds to help give Ben some clarity. It seems to work, because now Ben knows who he's buying the ring for.
Final rose ceremony time and JoJo is first up, which we all know is bad news. She has a nice speech about how she loves Ben and he's her best friend and all that, to which Ben responds "I...... uh..... " He then tells her he "found [love] with [her], but found it with someone else more." JoJo is, of course, blindsided and heartbroken and Ben walks her to a limo (even though she arrived in a helicopter?).
Ben is sad and says stuff like "I don't deserve JoJo," but pulls himself together to call Lauren's dad to ask for permission because the patriarchy is still alive and well. He gets Daddy Bushnell's blessing, fist pumps the air and then Lauren arrives. She also gives an I love you speech, and Ben pauses for so long I'm pretty sure it was part of the Bachelor contract to add suspense. Anyway, Ben proposes with a god-awful diamond ring and Lauren accepts. They both tell each other they're each other's "person" and then Ben hands out the final rose to a "Yes! Give me that!"
Time for After the Final Rose! Well, more of it anyway. Throughout the whole episode we got glimpses at the live studio audience watching plus way to many shots of Ben's pastor flipping through the Bible and walking down halls. JoJo gets to see Ben for the first time since he broke her heart and Lauren and Ben can be seen in public for the first time. Chatting with JoJo is more calm and less emotional than I think any other season. JoJo seems to have actually gotten over it- even after having to re-watch the heartbreak. And no wonder she seems fine, because she's the next Bachelorette! What's that they always say? The best way to get over a man is to get under 25 new men? Something like that.
Lauren comes out, Jimmy Kimmel does a bit ("where do babies come from?" and "what happens in the fantasy suite?") and then Chris tries to get Ben and Lauren to get married on the spot. They decline (and why wouldn't they? ABC will probably pay for a much fancier one later), but the families come out and Ben re-proposes to Lauren and everyone cheers. Love conquers all, you guys!
We start with some pensive-stare-at-water shots of the three. Ben has no idea what to do and hopes his parents will just make the decision for him. Lauren thinks everything feels so right with Ben. JoJo thinks she's finally in a fairy tale, which makes me wonder what fairy tales she read as a kid.
Ben briefs the 'rents on the two ladies and how he loves them both. Mom says "it's really disturbing to me," and Bachelor viewers across the country nod in agreement.
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| Ben's mom is very relatable. |
JoJo comes bearing a tacky shell/flower arrangement as a gift. Ben tells his parents about moments he and JoJo has shared and said they flew over Hoover Dam in a helicopter but didn't get to see it because wink wink nudge nudge. JoJo gets rightfully embaressed and Ben's mom asks "too much cuddle time?" It was an awkward thing for Ben to bring up, almost as awkward as Nick V. telling his mom that he liked making out with Kaitlyn.
You can see where Ben gets his weird "you're too happy I need to see you cry" thing, as it appears Ben's mom likes JoJo better since they've "already gone through some non-ideal situations" and JoJo mentions how Ben has faults. Ben's mom seems to think Ben can't take care of himself and implies that she likes JoJo better for Ben since she already knows he's not perfect.
Ben's parents like them both, though, and Ben's frustrated he still doesn't know who to propose to. Or, as his mom said, "who to plant his stake with," and I don't know if that's a saying in Indiana or just really bad sexual innuendo.
Lauren's last chance to win Ben includes a boat ride and a vague question and answer session. Ben's biggest concern is that it's too perfect, and Ben, that's what most people are going for.
JoJo's final time with Ben includes another waterfall and crying in a bathroom. JoJo asks Ben if he loves Lauren too and if she knows and Ben says yes to both. JoJo says she's tired of competing, and, well, you did sign up for a show where you compete for a husband, so...
Ben's distressed, but luckily we have Neil Lane and his gaudy expensive diamonds to help give Ben some clarity. It seems to work, because now Ben knows who he's buying the ring for.
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| Somehow the most tears in this episode came from Ben. |
Ben is sad and says stuff like "I don't deserve JoJo," but pulls himself together to call Lauren's dad to ask for permission because the patriarchy is still alive and well. He gets Daddy Bushnell's blessing, fist pumps the air and then Lauren arrives. She also gives an I love you speech, and Ben pauses for so long I'm pretty sure it was part of the Bachelor contract to add suspense. Anyway, Ben proposes with a god-awful diamond ring and Lauren accepts. They both tell each other they're each other's "person" and then Ben hands out the final rose to a "Yes! Give me that!"
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| I guess Ben decided to settle for "too perfect." |
Lauren comes out, Jimmy Kimmel does a bit ("where do babies come from?" and "what happens in the fantasy suite?") and then Chris tries to get Ben and Lauren to get married on the spot. They decline (and why wouldn't they? ABC will probably pay for a much fancier one later), but the families come out and Ben re-proposes to Lauren and everyone cheers. Love conquers all, you guys!
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| Join me in May to watch JoJo find a husband on TV! And hopefully we get to see more of her judgmental brothers! |
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
"I'm the world's biggest joke" -Nick V.
After being promised "the dramatic ending you won't believe," we watch the ending everyone who doesn't live under a rock already knew (thanks snapchat!). The only ending that we don't believe is them saying this is for forever because have you seen this show before?
Let's review:
Back in LA, Shawn and the other guy have to meet Kaitlyn's family. Nick V.'s up first and Kaitlyn's family is all whaaaaaaat, Nick V., why?!?
Nick shows up in his best worn-out white v-neck. Kaitlyn greets him and says, "hey, I told my family how you, like, showed up halfway through and how we have this, like, great connection and how we had sex in Ireland LOL ok, come meet them!"
Kaitlyn's mom starts out strong with the questioning: "Hey Nick V. you're kind of an arrogant dick, how do you explain that?" Nick fumbles through an answer and sheds a tear and Kaitlyn's mom is suddenly totally on board with him marrying Kaitlyn.
Shawn and Kaitlyn's dad wear matching shirts while Kaitlyn's step dad seemed to miss the blue-stripe memo and wore a pretty awful lime green shirt. Kaitlyn's mom is worried bringing up the Nick situation will be awkward, and surprise, surprise, it totally is. Kaitlyn's sister is 100% Team Shawn.
The guys get one more date each with Kaitlyn. Nick's consists of making out on a boat (and now you wear a nice button up shirt, Nick?) and he gives her a sappy picture/poem thing. Shawn's consists of Kaitlyn bringing up the Nick situation again at a winery and then he gives her a jar of memories.
Kaitlyn cries because life is hard when two men are picking out ridiculously flashy Neil Lane engagement rings for you.
Final rose ceremony time- Kaitlyn lets Nick get all of the way to pulling out a ring before she stops him. They say things at each other, but clearly neither are listening. On the bright side, Nick finally tosses that ring they got in Ireland.
Shawn proposes, Kaitlyn's giddy, yay the most controversial show in Bachelor history is over!
Except wait, we still have an hour of After the Final Rose.
Kaitlyn tells Chris Harrison, "I feel like a little kid!" To which he replies, "you always feel like a little kid!" and then they gush over the ring and there's lots of PDA between Shawn and Kaitlyn. Not to worry, Nick's still around with his poor family in the audience for some reason, so there's promise of some drama!
Or just a conversation showing Shawn and Nick still hate each other. It's pretty awkward even if Chris "feels like we've gotten to a good place." Chris then asks if they want to hug it out which just goes to show that he was not paying any attention to body language/actual language coming from Shawn and Nick.
And that's a wrap. All with no mention of the next bachelor (though Ben H. was name dropped a few times)! But to placate the fans, there's more BIP previewing and we learn that Marcus and Lacy will get married on the show. Like on the beach, presumably with a bunch of swimsuit-clad, drunk, former bachelor and bachelorette contestants in attendance. I'd rather watch Ashley S. marry those birds in her happy place, but I guess we all don't get what we want. Though if you are ever sad, just remember you didn't get dumped on national television. Twice.
Let's review:
Back in LA, Shawn and the other guy have to meet Kaitlyn's family. Nick V.'s up first and Kaitlyn's family is all whaaaaaaat, Nick V., why?!?
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| Kaitlyn's fam would be perfect for the live studio audiences |
Shawn and Kaitlyn's dad wear matching shirts while Kaitlyn's step dad seemed to miss the blue-stripe memo and wore a pretty awful lime green shirt. Kaitlyn's mom is worried bringing up the Nick situation will be awkward, and surprise, surprise, it totally is. Kaitlyn's sister is 100% Team Shawn.
The guys get one more date each with Kaitlyn. Nick's consists of making out on a boat (and now you wear a nice button up shirt, Nick?) and he gives her a sappy picture/poem thing. Shawn's consists of Kaitlyn bringing up the Nick situation again at a winery and then he gives her a jar of memories.
Kaitlyn cries because life is hard when two men are picking out ridiculously flashy Neil Lane engagement rings for you.
Final rose ceremony time- Kaitlyn lets Nick get all of the way to pulling out a ring before she stops him. They say things at each other, but clearly neither are listening. On the bright side, Nick finally tosses that ring they got in Ireland.
 |
| I'm sure you can find a nice girl back in Chicago who will do fiancé-type stuff with you. |
 |
| awwwww |
Kaitlyn tells Chris Harrison, "I feel like a little kid!" To which he replies, "you always feel like a little kid!" and then they gush over the ring and there's lots of PDA between Shawn and Kaitlyn. Not to worry, Nick's still around with his poor family in the audience for some reason, so there's promise of some drama!
Or just a conversation showing Shawn and Nick still hate each other. It's pretty awkward even if Chris "feels like we've gotten to a good place." Chris then asks if they want to hug it out which just goes to show that he was not paying any attention to body language/actual language coming from Shawn and Nick.
And that's a wrap. All with no mention of the next bachelor (though Ben H. was name dropped a few times)! But to placate the fans, there's more BIP previewing and we learn that Marcus and Lacy will get married on the show. Like on the beach, presumably with a bunch of swimsuit-clad, drunk, former bachelor and bachelorette contestants in attendance. I'd rather watch Ashley S. marry those birds in her happy place, but I guess we all don't get what we want. Though if you are ever sad, just remember you didn't get dumped on national television. Twice.
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