"Falling in love is a big leap of faith, and certainly so is jumping in freezing cold water"

This week, we basically had two episodes air on the same night: the "to be continued" portion of the Fantasy Suites and Women Tell All.

Fantasy Suites Part 2

After a brief recap, we see Nick leaving Raven after their Fantasy Suite date.  Raven tells us she's pretty satisfied and that "Nick is good at what he does."  And if that wasn't enough, we get a lengthy montage of Raven skipping around Finland and playing in the snow to an upbeat 80s-ish pop song.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that
Rachel is wearing a penguin printed onesie?

Rachel and Nick have a lovely date failing at cross country skiing and feeding reindeer.  Rachel does finally say that she's falling in love with Nick, which earns her a night in the Fantasy Suite!

Vanessa and Nick's date consists of  jumping in icy water and then running into a sauna repeatedly in matching swimsuits for a while before trying to discuss the future where neither of them want to move to the other's country.  They don't really resolve anything, but they do go to the Fantasy Suite.

Rachel goes home at the rose ceremony, and we watch a goodbye that would have been heart wrenching if we didn't already know she was the next Bachelorette.

Women Tell All

First of all, we got to watch a montage of people screaming, I mean, of Nick and Chris Harrison crashing viewing parties in LA.  They even "crashed" a Backstreet Boys viewing "party" where they drank rosé with three of the boys.

But on to the show itself!  As if we didn't get enough of it all season, Women Tell All was the Corinne and Taylor showdown.  It was pretty uncomfortable to watch- Corinne didn't listen to a word anyone said and made up her own version of what happened.  It was quite Trump-like, and I don't really want to revisit it.  Corinne also talked about Raquel, her nanny, and how she calls her a nanny because "cleaning lady" is disrespectful.  Everyone said they wanted "a Raquel" and I wonder if they realize Raquel is an actual person and not something they can own?  Anyway, through all this, girls we forgot even existed showed up to yell about the Taylor-Corinne drama half of them weren't even around for.  We never once heard from Danielle M, who made it to the top 6!  This is thanks to Women Tell All being the last chance to earn a spot on Bachelor in Paradise.

We did get a break from the yelling in the form of Liz, with some girl power speeches about being true to your self.  We even found out there is more to her than having once slept with Nick!  Shocking!  We also heard from Kristina (when Chris Harrison told her she "is the American Dream") and then Rachel, who everyone is just thrilled will be the next Bachelorette.  The yelling came back at the this point, but only because all of the women wanted to tell Rachel how beautiful and awesome she is at the same time.  And of course Nick came out to confront them all.  Nick tells Rachel "I think the guys are really lucky to meet you," to which Rachel replies "they are."

"I'm not gonna get engaged just because I'm the Bachelor"

This week's episode was a tale in three almost unrelated acts:

ACT I:  Andi Comes to Call

ACT II:  A Farewell to Corinne

ACT III:  Quoth the Raven: Never-O

Act 1

As teased to us last week, Andi shows up at Nick's hotel room right before the rose ceremony.  He invites her in and offers her a drink.  "I think this conversation might call for some whiskey," she says.  "I'm really curious as to why Andi's here?" Nick muses to the camera, as if he doesn't know this is something producers try to do almost every season.

If you didn't watch Andi's season, here's the cliff notes: Nick made it to the top two and lost to douchebag jock Josh.  During After the Final Rose, Nick asked Andi why she "made love to him" if she wasn't going to pick him and it was awkward and also caused drama for Andi and Josh (who have long been split us).

Back to New York and Nick and Andi today:  they discuss Nick's experience and how he has four strong women left ("and they stuck around?").  Andi asks if Nick is going to have sex with these final three.  He says he doesn't know (yeah, right), and Andi asks if he regrets asking her about their "making love."  He apologizes, in a long roundabout way, but Andi seems ok with it and they hug, she wishes him luck, and leaves.

Act 2

Time for the first rose ceremony in what feels like months!  Raven, Rachel, and Vanessa get roses.  Corinne cries as Nick walks her out.  She apologizes to Nick, who says she has nothing to apologize for.  Then comes the good part: her limo exit.  She starts her drive bemoaning how her heart will never mend and keeps talking until she's declaring she'll never kiss up to a man ever again.  She also asks the camera "why can't I have a normal relationship?" and, uh, what part of going on a TV show to find love did she think would lead to a normal relationship?  With that over with, she takes a nap.

Act 3

Raven gets the first Fantasy Suite week date.  They are in Finland and go on an awesome looking helicopter ride around Urho Kekkonen National Park.  They then play darts in a Finnish pub and it's all fun and dates like the Bachelor should be.  Then they start talking.  And end up arguing about ironing vs steaming clothes and it's so boring, the fact they are enjoying it means they are probably meant for each other.

Side note: Nick is wearing the chunkiest, most turtlenecky of turtleneck sweaters, while Raven is wearing the least useful of sweaters that doesn't cover her shoulders, let alone neck, as if to make up for Nick.

At dinner, Raven gives Nick an actually quite nice and real (real for this show that is) and long declaration of love.  He offers her the Fantasy Suite card, and she gleefully accepts, but wants to make sure Nick knows two things, which we have been hearing about all episode in between shots of their date:
1. She has only been sexually active with one guy she never even said I love you to (this is the guy who cheated on her and she beat him with a stiletto)
2. She's never had an orgasm

So, no pressure, Nick.  And we won't find out if this night has a satisfying ending until next week's three hour extravaganza.

The episode ends with a Rocky-esque montage of Nick running around in the snow and lifting logs over his head.