Becca and Alls She Want

Fantasy Suite week: the week where all the contestants talk about the importance of having quality alone time, while everyone watching knows they just want to have sex.  Anyway, They are in Thailand and Blake gets the first date.

Becca and Blake go on a hike to a sacred temple, so they can't touch and kiss for most of the date.  At the temple, some monks give them advice about marriage (honesty, compromise, patience, and giving).  They they ring a bell that shares their love and then sprint back to the threshold where they can make out again.  In the evening, Blake tells Becca his fears about her falling for the other men.  She talks about how she felt last year, but doesn't deny feelings for the other men here.  It soothes Blake, so he tells her again how much he loves her and they kiss some more.  She hands him the Fantasy Suite Card, to which he replies, "Uh, Yeah!"  The next time we see them, it's morning and they are cuddling, still in bed.  Blake is anxious that this is the last time he'll be able to wake up next to her.  He feels so strongly, "like no way she has this with any other guy."  It's gonna be hard for him to watch this show...

The next day, Becca and Jason wander around a Thai market.  They weirdly dance in the middle of a street performance, eat crickets, and look at pretty architecture.  Becca has a weird freak out after saying something about the future and tells us she "feels weird" eight dozen times.  Basically she knows he's not the one, but judging by how he's the best kisser, she was probably looking forward to the fantasy suite, but she'd feel guilty about sleeping with him and immediately dumping him.  She has dinner with him anyway just in case, you know, she falls in love with a third guy last minute (she's already admitted to falling in love with Blake and Garrett).  Jason babbles about how great it was to tell his family that he loves her, only for her to tell him she sees a future more with two other dudes.  Jason is crushed, obviously, and Becca goes to cry in the fantasy suite.  She sobs, "like, I literally just did to him what Arie did to me."  Like, you literally did not: Arie proposed to you and planned for the future with you.  You never even slept with Jason; he's going to be ok.

Garrett's date is by far the coolest: they bamboo raft down a river where there is what looks like a bamboo raft party going on plus a bunch of elephants!  They do not seem appropriately excited by the elephants.  Garrett rambles incoherently and tells Becca this journey has made him better at communicating.  They kiss, and Becca hopes to hear "I love you" before the night is up.  She gets her wish.  Garrett hopes Becca is the last girl he "has to say" that too.  How romantic.  They head to the Fantasy Suite which is a tent in a tree house.  The next morning it's raining and they drink mimosas and it looks lovely.

Becca stares pensively out the window in preparation for her rose ceremony when there's a knock on the door.  Jason is back to get some closure and give her a scrapbook of their journey, since what the heck is he going to do with that now?  Becca tells us "the world needs more Jasons" and then takes a boat to the other guys.  Blake and Garrett show up one by one and you can just see the nerves leave their faces when Becca shows up sans Jason.  She still hands out roses, with looong pauses before each name even though there is approximately zero suspense here.

Next week it's on to the Maldives and meeting Becca's family!

Becca and "The Best Kisser in the Entire World"

We begin Hometowns Week in sunny California; Garrett is from Manteca, a Central Valley farming city that always makes me sing this song.  They ride around on a planter and try to plant tomatoes on Garrett's family's land.  Then they more successfully plant a rose bush.  Then Becca gets to meet Garrett's parents, older sister & husband, and twin brother & wife.  They are all protective of Garrett and don't want to see him hurt again.  They all like Becca though, so Garrett's pleased.

Next up, we go across the country to Buffalo, New York, where Jason brings her to a bar to enter a wing eating contest.  Apparently ranch is NOT a thing in Buffalo.  People chant "eat those wings" and they eat some wings.  People chant "kiss" and they kiss.  Next, Jason takes her to a hockey rink and makes all kinds of hockey/love metaphors mostly about teamwork.  They ride the Zamboni and make-out, I'm sure much to the chagrin of the Zamboni driver.  Jason's is the smallest family we meet: his parents and his brother & brother-in-law.  Jason tells his dad he's falling for her immensely, and follows up with, "it's insane that I'm saying that.  It's wild to think that's coming out of my mouth.  He sings his praises of Becca to his brother, who asks if he's told Becca how he feels (he hasn't, and his brother is like, what are you waiting for?!).  They all like her, Jason tells her he loves her, everyone is happy and supportive.

Another cold place is next: snowy Bailey, Colorado.  Blake inadvertently shares that he peaked in high school while they wander around saying hi to his old teachers.  They have a serous moment where Blake shares that his school fell victim to a school shooting when he was a senior.  To not end on a sad note before meeting the fam, Blake (but more likely the shows producers) has arranged a concert in his school auditorium.  It's Becca's favorite singer, Betty Who (that's not a question, though it kind of is... good thing Becca's favorite singer is concert-on-The-Bachelor level famous).  Then they go meet Blake's family.  They don't introduce the viewers to everyone, but it would appear that this meeting included both Blake's parents and associate step-parents and maybe his sisters?  Blake's mom has a reasonable response to Blake falling in love on this show: "That's crazy.  That's freaking crazy."  Again, though, the family is fairly supportive and are happy if Blake is happy.

Last, and kind of least, since he is the youngest, Colton gets to show Becca around his hometown of Parker, Colorado.  They buy some toys and visit a children's hospital and it's pretty cute.  Becca and Colton both thought the other was great with kids.  Colton then takes Becca home to meet 18 of his family members.  Colton talks about being a virgin with his mom, and talks to his dad about handling things like a man.  It's all kind of awkward, but the family seems to like Becca enough.  Colton admits to being in love with her and Becca says she's falling for him, too.

Back in LA, we get a girl chat before the rose ceremony.  Caroline, Kendall, Bekah M, Sienne, and Tia are back in a contrived situation so that Tia has a opportunity to stir up some drama.  Turns out she still has feelings for Colton.  Becca is frustrated since Colton is, like, sooo hot and also said he loved her, but also she doesn't want to lose a friend.  If only she had three other guys in love with her to fall back on!  Oh wait, she does.

The guys arrive one by one to the rose ceremony where Chris Harrison greets them and walks them in.  For some reason, Colton asks Chris Harrison advice about being intimate in the Fantasy Suite.  Scroll down and read this recap by Sharleen Joynt of Juan Pablo's season for the play by play.  It's pretty funny.  Anyway, Becca arrives, speechifies about how hard this decision is, and sends Colton home.  And no need to feel bad for Colton- he's off to Bachelor in Paradise with Tia waiting for him.

Becca and "A Bronzed God, If You Will"

This week we're in the Bahamas!  Becca will take the six remaining men on four dates: three of them get one-on-ones and the other three get a three-on-one.  Becca collects Colton for the first date while the other guys look sad.

PSA for anyone looking to be on one of these shows: do not tell the producers you are a virgin if you don't want a date chock full of euphemisms.  Becca thinks Colton is "a bronzed god, if you will," and is clearly physically attracted to him.  They ride around on a catamaran and then go diving for conch shells.  Some dude on a yellow painted boat shows them how to pull the pistol out of the conch and explains that this is Bahamian Viagra.  They eat it, it's gross, they make-out.  That evening they discuss Colton's inexperience with dating and love and also sex.  Becca is surprised, but doesn't judge.  I think it helped that he said he's not necessarily waiting for marriage, just love.  He gets the rose, surprising the rest of the guys who thought maybe Becca wouldn't be able to get past the virgin thing.

Garrett gets one-on-one number two, and we see glimpses of Blake starting to unravel and second guess how Becca feels about him.  Garrett and Becca get to go island hopping in a sea plane.  They make out in lots of sandy places.  Becca thinks everything physical is there with Garrett, but needs more depth, so that evening she asks questions to help gain some depth.  Apparently the depth she wasted was just if he's ready again to be engaged again after his last time not working out so well.  I guess he gives a satisfactory answer because Becca gives him a rose and they run off into the sea, never to be seen again make out lots more.

Blake gets the next one-on-one, so we don't get to see him have a nervous break down after all.  They go to a beach party where we learn that the Baha Men are still around and have a new song out.  In the evening, Blake talks about his family drama: his mom had an affair with his English teacher/basketball coach which was not great mentally for a teenager.  He also tells Becca he loves her and Becca says that they "are on the same page, but he doesn't know it yet."

Time for the last group date of the season!  Jason, Leo, and Wills go meet Becca for some volleyball before she talks to/kisses them all.  Leo asks where he stands, and Becca acknowledges that he's not as far a long as the other guys, so she grabs Jason and Wills and they leave Leo on the beach.  Now a two-on-one, Wills tells Becca he loves her, Jason's not ready to say it, but she's more on Jason's page, so Wills gets sent home.  There's a lot of sad sighing, both on and off screen (#WillsForBachelor).

And that's all for the Bahamas!

Becca and the angry person

Chris Harrison checks in with Becca over some tea.  She's finding babies extra cute and reading wedding magazines, so this is getting serious.

Jason gets the first date card, which sets Chris off about how he wants a 1-on-1 or even a 2-on-1, which somehow leads to Chris and Lincoln arguing over who would "win" on a 2-on-1 and the rest of the guys looking around awkwardly.

The date is a hodgepodge of stuff: they take a trolley around Richmond, glaze some donuts, visit a church, go to the Poe museum and attend an "Unhappy hour" which is just a depressing, weird, gothic hangout.  Then they go to a bar where three of Jason's friends are waiting, which is actually a pretty cool surprise considering who Jason's been stuck with the past month.  Jason's friends sing his praises to Becca, Jason tells his friends how great Becca is.  That evening, they chat about his friends and how hard it's been in the past to open up, but it's easy with Becca.  He tells her about how it was difficult when his Grandma got Alzheimers, Becca tells him about losing her dad when she was 19.  They talk about not taking people for granted.  They kiss, he gets the rose.  Becca says she has one more surprise for him.  It's just a balcony where they can kiss with a nice view.

Next up is a group date with Colton, Garrett, Wills, Connor, Blake, Lincoln, and Chris.  Chris feels like he needs to "go all in, guns a blazing; it's do or die," which is a bit dramatic, even for this show.  They are greeted at the Capital or something by George Washington and Abraham Lincoln (who lets Lincoln try on his hat), where they are told they will be Campaigning for Becca.  Or campaigning to be Becca's running mate.  Or campaigning for her hand.  It's unclear.  Anyway, they go out to podiums where the Governor of Virginia, Chris Harrison, Abe Lincoln, and George Washington ask the guys questions.  It's all going just swell- guys hamming it up about Becca and Virginia, until Lincoln takes a shot at Chris threatening to leave.  Fun time is now over and it turns into a Chris vs Lincoln debate.  Chris goes on about how Lincoln body shamed him for being fat in the past and that he's aggressive.  Chris also insists he's honest.  Becca says it's embarrassing.

That evening, Lincoln pulls Becca aside first to tell her he's scared of Chris and so is everyone else.  Chris interrupts and Becca confronts him.  He's "uncomfortable" and Lincoln is just fabricating things.  Garrett interrupts, but Becca is distracted and needs some alone time.  Garrett is pissed and starts arguing with Chris, who had been arguing with Lincoln.  Becca does get some nice time with Garrett, Colton, and Wills, and gives the group date rose to Colton.

Last date this week is with Leo.  Becca's still a bit upset about the group date drama.  They take a little plane ride around Virginia, collect and shuck some oysters, and then eat the oysters.  "You're pretty hot," Leo tells Becca as they kiss.  Over dinner, Becca tells Leo he saw her at her worst, to which he responds, "that's your worst? You were mildly, like, not yourself."  Leo then chats about his parents and how he feels like his dad is disappointed in him since he was good at baseball but didn't make it big.  He knows he's hard on himself.  Becca reassures him that he's nice and hot and can't imagine people seeing him as not a stand-up guy.  He gets a rose and they go to some country concert where fans mob them on their little riser.

Back at the hotel, Chris is dramatically journaling while the other guys talk bout his spiraling.  Chris storms off when Leo returns with a rose.  He rants about Lincoln: "the man eats 12 eggs everyday.  His cholesterol must be 6,000."  Why Chris is hung up on Lincoln's cholesterol is unclear.  He wanders over to where Becca is staying in a last ditch effort to "win."  He complains about other guys and that he can see them getting married.  Becca is just seeing red flags and lets him know she doesn't want to drag him through an entire rose ceremony.  She offers to walk him out and he says he can walk himself out.  He seems like a guy who takes rejection horribly.

It's time for the cocktail party, except, oh no, Becca's cancelled it!  It's straight to a rose ceremony where Garrett, Blake, and Wills get roses, and Lincoln and Connor go home.  And we're finally going international!  Bahamas next week before it's back to the states for hometowns.