"Let's dive into bed"

We begin this week with another cliffhanger that is hardly suspenseful considering all of the preview footage we've already seen.  I feel like the editors are really dropping the ball this season with spoilers in every preview of the next episode/rest of season.  For example, Rachel is clearly a frontrunner and perhaps the only person to give Vanessa a run for her money in winning this thing, yet we now know she's the new Bachelorette, so clearly Nick doesn't pick her.

Anyway, Nick comes in to reassure the girls that he thinks one of the six left will probably be his wife and that we're going to Bimini!  The girls cheer and yell "Bimini" more times than the number of viewers who have even heard of Bimini.

Vanessa gets the first one on one date, much to Corinne's chagrin as she's the only one who hasn't gotten a one on one yet, which in her defense, is odd this late in the season.  Vanessa and Nick head off on a yacht, and Vanessa says "I've never been on a boat before" even though we just saw her on one last week.  They go snorkeling by a ship wreck and make-out underwater.  In the evening, they have dinner and Vanessa tells Nick she's falling in love with him.  Nick decides to give her a speech about how he's said I love you on this show before and that he doesn't want to say I love you to more than one person and it really is not the best response to someone declaring their love.

For the group date, Corinne, Raven, and Kristina get to join Nick to swim with sharks.  Corinne really wants the date to go well so she can take Nick home to meet her "nanny slash maid" who is also her "best friend in the entire world," but Nick seems to be paying more attention to Kristina and even helps her rub sunscreen on her inner thigh.  Corinne pouts and complains that she's "literally trying to win over [her] fiancé," which is literally not the case.  Raven is pretty confident that Corinne and Kristina will get eaten by sharks, while she'd just punch them in the face.  Her confidence was not unfounded as she ends up getting the group date rose and the chance to make-out while watching some band Nick had to namedrop.

Real nice camera shot that really sums up this show:
Nick kisses a woman while other women are sad nearby.

Onto Danielle M's one on one date, where they bike around Bimini, play sports with local kids, and Danielle M admits to be "like one hundred and fifty bajillion percent" falling in love with Nick.  They chat about going home to Wisconsin and Nick tells Danielle M that she's "fun to have fun with" and that her "face is pretty great."  Which is apparently not what Nick is looking for in a wife, because he sends her home.  She cries and leaves and the other girls are sad for her.

Corinne wants to make sure Nick doesn't pull that with her and goes to visit Nick.  She says the following statements:
"I'd live in a shack with no diamonds for Nick" (as opposed to all those shacks with diamonds?)
"I am not a runner up" (but you want to marry one, apparently)
"I'm going to blow that room up"
"I definitely know how to turn on the sex charm"
"I know how to make a man feel good and I do way better than anyone else because my heart is gold but my vagine is platinum" (we finally see the context to this quote considering it's been in every season/episode preview montage since night one)
"You must have two hands on at all times.  Never jiggle, lightly massage"  (this she says to Nick behind closed doors)

So if you hadn't picked up on it, Corinne has decided to have sex with Nick.  But since having sex before the fantasy suites (or during, really), hasn't really worked out for him in the past, he turns Corinne down, and she leaves, pretty upset.

During all of the above, all we get to see is shots of this empty
champagne bottle with breathy audio because while Nick and
Corinne were allowed some "alone" time, they were still clearly mic'd 

Next, Rachel gets the last date of the episode, where she and Nick wander around Bimini.  They chat about Nick meeting her parents and she says she's never brought home a white boy before and they reenforce the fact that Nick needs to call her dad "sir."  Considering we know things aren't going to work out (yay #RachelforBachelorette), I'd wager a good amount Rachel's family visit doesn't go very smoothly.

After the date, Rachel goes back to the hotel beaming and makes Corinne even more worried about her place in Nick's heart.  Nick talks to Chris Harrison about knowing already who has to go home.  He shows up at the ladies' hotel, and they all know what's about to happen, but not with whom.  Nick pulls Kristina aside and says all the typical Bachelor things about not wanting to send her home but he feels it in his heart or whatever.  She is obviously quite upset, and the other girls are also pretty upset.  And of course the episode ends here, with a dramatic "coming up" montage of more crying by everyone involved.

"When I was talking to him, he was, like, listening"

This episode can be broken into two acts:
Act 1: The Corinne Show
Act 2: The Liz Situation

Act I
The scene opens in the Bachelor mansion where the girls patiently await the first date card, which reads "Always a bridesmaid..."

A dozen of the ladies get to participate in a wedding photo shoot with Nick!  Corinne says she's never been a bridesmaid and that "in [her] dream world, today [she] would just be marrying Nick."  To be clear, in her dream world, Corinne would essentially be marrying some guy she met at a party and drunkenly made-out with.  So anyway, the girls are given either themed wedding dresses or bridesmaids dresses and they begin doing funny wedding shoots with Nick and a photographer straight out of a cheesy 90s movie.  Corinne is thrilled because she got the "beach wedding" theme meaning she's wearing a bikini top and other girls are more modestly dressed in their gowns.  BUT OH NO, Brittany walks in with just a leafy bikini bottom (she got the Adam and Eve themed wedding shoot), and Corinne is not having it.  She pouts while the other girls cheer on and support each other- especially Brittany who is stuck wearing next to nothing on national TV.

So after some cute and fun wedding shoots, it's Corinne's turn, and she does not disappoint.  Not to be outdone by Brittany as Eve, she takes her's and Nick's tops off in the pool during the photo shoot.  And not to be outdone by herself, she suggests Janet Jackson-ing it and they do.  Corinne is just thrilled that Nick touched her "bare bosoms."  She continues to talk about her boobs: "no one has ever held my boobs like that," which isn't surprising considering Nick was holding her boobs in front of 11 of his other girlfriends on TV during a photo shoot, which I don't care how glamorous your life is, that probably hasn't happened before.  She continues this thought with "...no one ever will," which sounds a little ominous.

The evening portion of this date continued along this vein.  Nick seemed to at least start having nice conversations with the other girls, but then Corinne steals him away to make-out some more.  After Corinne steals Nick away from Taylor, Taylor decides she wants to finish her conversation with Nick and steals him back.  Corinne then goes on a rant about how she thinks it's rude.  She claims she goes about things very classy, and then switches into 3rd person: "The way she did it was very directed toward Corinne.  I'm like, Taylor, If you take a direct hit at Corinne, I'm going to say something."  She does say something, but that something was a weird passive-aggressive asking Taylor if she's okay repeatedly.  When that shockingly doesn't instigate a fight, she announces to the group that's things are going to get uncomfortable and that everyone just needs to be there for Nick and for them selves and that she would rather get Nick than friends out of this whole situation.  Then, to everyone's dismay, Nick gives Corinne the group date rose.  The girls start to wonder what Nick is looking for in a woman and whether or not they need to start taking their tops off for roses.

~Intermission~
Danielle gets the first one-on-one date.  They take a helicopter to a yacht with a hot tub, just to get some Bachelor date clichés out of the way.  In the evening portion, Nick "opens up" about being publicly dumped twice and Danielle M opens up about finding her fiancé dead from a drug overdose. As Lacey says, "like, I didn't even know girls were that nice," which actually makes me concerned about Lacey's friends.  Though she is quite nice, which is why we saw so little of this date: no good drama other than a tragic story.

Act II
The scene opens back at the Bachelor mansion.  Liz looks coyly around as the girls talk about how Corinne has already kissed Nick...

Liz is overanalyzing her past with Nick.  And by overanalyzing, I mean repeating that she met Nick at Jade and Tanner's Wedding and slept with Nick over and over and over again.  She finally decides she needs to tell someone besides every cameraman on the show and confides in Christen, who promises she won't tell anyone.  Spoiler alert: she tells someone.

For the second group date, Nick takes six ladies to The Museum of Broken Relationships, which statistically they will all be a part of soon when they fail to win a rose from Nick in the next few weeks.  They wander around looking at sad things people left behind after a break up, including the ring Nick picked out for Kaitlyn.  They then stumble upon a couple "breaking up" in the museum, when they are informed they will all have to break up with Nick in front of an audience.  They wander around getting inspiration and Liz tries to talk to Nick who is avoiding her.  The fake break-ups are amusing and awkward- Josephine even slaps Nick, and then we get to Liz.  She pulls out a prepared speech about how they met and shared a night and he broke her heart or something.  Christen is freaking out because she knows it's true, but the other girls are just confused.

That evening, Nick says he is living his nightmare.  To be clear, Nick's nightmare is dealing with 22 girls who want to fall in love with him and having already slept with one of them.  Anyway,  Liz's speech "definitely made [him] a little uncomfortable,"  but mostly because he's worried about her telling the other girls.  All of his fears come true when Christen tells him what Liz told her.  Nick goes to talk to Liz because he wants to know if she's here for him or just using a past relationship to get on TV (as if that's something he's never done).  She doesn't hold up well under questioning so he sends her home.  Nick decides he has to tell the rest of the ladies everything.  He tells the five remaining ladies on this date that he met her at a wedding and then, awfully bluntly for someone worried about the response, that "Liz and I had sex that night."

Fade to black.

Side Note: Christen would be the perfect audience member for After the Final Rose: