We start this Live Finale Day Two off with a lengthy recap of Arie proposing to and then breaking up with Becca, as if we didn't just watch it the night before.
We see a montage of Becca going home to snowy Minnesota and being sad. Then we see Arie having a panic attack in front of Lauren's house. He shouldn't have worried- Lauren practically throws herself at him when he knocks on the door. They apparently have talked on the phone, so she knows he broke it off with Becca. Lauren says it's been tough. Arie says he let logic win over his heart and that he's "1000 percent" over Becca. She forgives him and hints that she wants to get engaged.
Chris Harrison talks to Bekah, Tia, Kendall, Sienne, and Caroline, who all claim they love Lauren, but man, does Arie suck. They all agree he probably should have broken the engagement off camera and Sienne says it was especially shitty of Arie to get affirmation from Lauren before breaking his engagement. He was making it sound like a huge risk, but really, he knew he'd still get Lauren. They all bash Arie for a while, and then Becca comes out. She gets a standing ovation, and Chris Harrison talks about how fans just LOVE her. There are apparently billboards up in Minneapolis and LA, and someone started a "buy Becca a drink" fundraiser which raised over $6,000. Becca says she'll donate it to the non-profit Stand Up to Cancer. Chris says ABC will match the donation. So at least something good is coming out of this dumb show.
Arie comes out next to face Becca. They chat and he says he regrets proposing when he wasn't 100% sure. Becca says she's ready to close this chapter of her life. Since Arie's not the first Bachelor to break up with his final pick and get together with the runner up, we get an interview with Jason and Molly Mesnick who have been married for 8 years. They say it was easier back then since there was no social media. Jason says Arie seems like a nice guy, but being on this show can really mess you up. Arie says he's just trying to do what's best for him. Then they bring Lauren out. Chris says to her, "I can't imagine what's going through your head right now," to which Lauren responds, "yeah, me neither," so I guess we'll never know.
Chris talks to Lauren - she's completely forgiven Arie and is so in love. Arie proposes to a fairly tepid response from the audience, which includes both Lauren and Arie's families. That wrapped up quickly and it's on to announcing our next Bachelorette. Unsurprisingly, Becca has been chosen. The other girls from Arie's season come up to gush about Becca. And then, like they did for Rachel's season, they set up a Bachelor Mansion backdrop, and Becca meets five of her suitors:
1. Lincoln has a bowtie and an accent and a very long speech.
2. Chase wants to be Becca's open door (from the "one door closes, another opens" cliche).
3. Ryan has a banjo and sings a song about Becca.
4. Darius apologizes on behalf of the male gender.
5. Blake comes out with his horse Bradley so he can help Becca get back on the horse, so to speak.
And that's it for Season 22 of The Bachelor!
Monday, March 19, 2018
Friday, March 16, 2018
"Well you finally saw me cry."
Rather than promising us the most dramatic finale ever, Chris Harrison starts this show promising us that "Arie is about to become the most controversial bachelor in history!" And he was right, if you define controversial as most people ended up being pissed off at Arie's actions. It ended up being a pretty one sided controversy. But let's get into it!
Back in Peru, Lauren B. and Becca K. meet Arie's family. Lauren goes first. She "hope[s] that [she doesn't] freak out and act weird." She doesn't and Arie's family loves her. Turns out they'll like Becca just the same, but it doesn't seem like that to Becca since every one of Arie's family mentioned Lauren while talking to her. This does not please Becca since she and Lauren are like "an apple and a starfish" and I really want to know which one she thinks she is.
After meeting both potential daughter-in-laws, the family debriefs. They tall Arie he can't make a wrong choice. Arie pontificates and says it makes more sense and has been easy with Becca, but there's an undeniable love with Lauren. Mom tells him Becca is the smart choice. Arie just doesn't know and keeps repeating how this is the biggest decision of his life since it will change his life FOREVER (but more realistically, for the next 4-6 months).
For some reason, Chris Harrison has Caroline from this season on to chat about this situation. She says pretty much exactly what she said at Women Tell All. She adds that she doesn't think Arie knows what he wants, which isn't really an interesting take considering we just heard Arie monologue about not knowing what to do.
Lauren gets a pretty cool last date - Arie takes her to Machu Picchu. They make out among ruins and Arie comments how Lauren has really opened up and relaxed after he told her he loved her. Which makes sense, considering that's like the biggest rule on this show: the lead can't say I love you! So if he says it, it must mean something. Lauren is afraid of losing Arie, but is pretty sure he'll pick her since he's reassured her so much and has really given her no reason to think otherwise.
Chris Harrison now asks Sienne and Bekah M. their thoughts on the situation. Sienne thinks Arie was looking for reassurance from his family about picking Lauren and didn't get it. Bekah says if Arie is this conflicted, he probably shouldn't propose (no duh).
Becca gets a boring last date compared to Lauren. They do a standard one-on-one date of walking around a foreign market. They do get to pet some cute alpacas. Becca gives Arie a scrapbook of cute couple picks (with empty pages for their wedding and future babies) and reads him a love letter. Arie feels overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do.
Back in the studio, Chris Harrison has brought on Ben, who also told two women he loved them, and Jason, who broke up with his final pick and asked the runner up for another chance (they are now married). Ben says Arie has to own up to what he's done. Jason says he should just be himself (even though that doesn't seem to be working out for Arie).
Arie's feeling guilty about giving confidence to both women and still doesn't know what to do. He meets with Neil Lane anyway and gets a ring.
Lauren gets the first rose ceremony. She gives Arie an I love you/I finally found what I've been looking for speech, to which Arie shakes his head and says he can't go through with it. Lauren doesn't know what to say. Arie says he did fall in love with her. Lauren says she's confused. Arie "feel[s] a little bit like a monster right now" and Lauren "feel[s] betrayed."
Becca's rose ceremony is a bit happier, seeing as Arie proposes to her and gives her the final rose. Becca is thrilled, obviously, and Arie seems happy. Chris Harrison's been promising us DRAMA though, so we know this isn't going to end well.
We get a nice montage of Arie and Becca doing cute couple-y things. Becca is interviewed, excited about a "happy couples weekend" she and Arie are about to have. Arie is interviewed and he's (dun dun dun) planning to call off the engagement because he keeps thinking about Lauren.
Chris Harrison tells us this will be the "most emotional scene ever" and that they are going to show us it in it's un-cut entirety.
We get a nice split screen once Arie and Becca sit down, so we can see both of their faces. Arie tells Becca she's everything he's wanted, but he can't stop thinking about Lauren. Becca responds, appropriately: "are you fucking kidding me?" She takes off the ring and Arie continues to babble about how conflicted he was and how he's been struggling. She eventually say's "Ok, I'm done" and walks away. Arie follows, to which Becca says, "I'm not gonna, like, hug you goodbye." He still wants to talk. Becca is not having it. She asks him to leave. He lingers. She tells him to go. He sits on the couch. This goes on and on for a while and it is extremely uncomfortable to watch. He FINALLY goes for real and Becca cries some more.
Back with Chris Harrison and out live studio audience, Becca gets a lot of cheering. Chris Harrison promises us that tomorrow, Becca will see Arie for the first time since that break up. Plus Lauren will be there. Caroline, Bekah, Sienne, Tia, and Kendall all run up to hug Becca.
After the Final Rose Part Two will be recapped in my next post, as this is getting long.
For some reason, Chris Harrison has Caroline from this season on to chat about this situation. She says pretty much exactly what she said at Women Tell All. She adds that she doesn't think Arie knows what he wants, which isn't really an interesting take considering we just heard Arie monologue about not knowing what to do.
Lauren gets a pretty cool last date - Arie takes her to Machu Picchu. They make out among ruins and Arie comments how Lauren has really opened up and relaxed after he told her he loved her. Which makes sense, considering that's like the biggest rule on this show: the lead can't say I love you! So if he says it, it must mean something. Lauren is afraid of losing Arie, but is pretty sure he'll pick her since he's reassured her so much and has really given her no reason to think otherwise.
Chris Harrison now asks Sienne and Bekah M. their thoughts on the situation. Sienne thinks Arie was looking for reassurance from his family about picking Lauren and didn't get it. Bekah says if Arie is this conflicted, he probably shouldn't propose (no duh).
Becca gets a boring last date compared to Lauren. They do a standard one-on-one date of walking around a foreign market. They do get to pet some cute alpacas. Becca gives Arie a scrapbook of cute couple picks (with empty pages for their wedding and future babies) and reads him a love letter. Arie feels overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do.
Back in the studio, Chris Harrison has brought on Ben, who also told two women he loved them, and Jason, who broke up with his final pick and asked the runner up for another chance (they are now married). Ben says Arie has to own up to what he's done. Jason says he should just be himself (even though that doesn't seem to be working out for Arie).
Arie's feeling guilty about giving confidence to both women and still doesn't know what to do. He meets with Neil Lane anyway and gets a ring.
Lauren gets the first rose ceremony. She gives Arie an I love you/I finally found what I've been looking for speech, to which Arie shakes his head and says he can't go through with it. Lauren doesn't know what to say. Arie says he did fall in love with her. Lauren says she's confused. Arie "feel[s] a little bit like a monster right now" and Lauren "feel[s] betrayed."
Becca's rose ceremony is a bit happier, seeing as Arie proposes to her and gives her the final rose. Becca is thrilled, obviously, and Arie seems happy. Chris Harrison's been promising us DRAMA though, so we know this isn't going to end well.
We get a nice montage of Arie and Becca doing cute couple-y things. Becca is interviewed, excited about a "happy couples weekend" she and Arie are about to have. Arie is interviewed and he's (dun dun dun) planning to call off the engagement because he keeps thinking about Lauren.
Chris Harrison tells us this will be the "most emotional scene ever" and that they are going to show us it in it's un-cut entirety.
We get a nice split screen once Arie and Becca sit down, so we can see both of their faces. Arie tells Becca she's everything he's wanted, but he can't stop thinking about Lauren. Becca responds, appropriately: "are you fucking kidding me?" She takes off the ring and Arie continues to babble about how conflicted he was and how he's been struggling. She eventually say's "Ok, I'm done" and walks away. Arie follows, to which Becca says, "I'm not gonna, like, hug you goodbye." He still wants to talk. Becca is not having it. She asks him to leave. He lingers. She tells him to go. He sits on the couch. This goes on and on for a while and it is extremely uncomfortable to watch. He FINALLY goes for real and Becca cries some more.
Back with Chris Harrison and out live studio audience, Becca gets a lot of cheering. Chris Harrison promises us that tomorrow, Becca will see Arie for the first time since that break up. Plus Lauren will be there. Caroline, Bekah, Sienne, Tia, and Kendall all run up to hug Becca.
After the Final Rose Part Two will be recapped in my next post, as this is getting long.
Friday, March 2, 2018
"He has huge f***ing balls or he's f***ing crazy"
Kendall is up first for the Fantasy Suite dates. They go dune buggying and surfing on large sand dunes in Peru. It looks like fun. Kendall, though, is worried about not being able to get to the point in their relationship to accept a proposal. During the evening portion of the date, she does tell Arie she's falling in love with him, and Arie, at this point sounding like a broken record, tells yet another girl he's falling for her. Arie pulls out the Fantasy Suite card, and they go have some uninterrupted, camera-free time. We can infer that they had sex, since Kendall's response to Arie in the morning when he asks how she feels after last night is "you're dirty," to which Arie responds, "emotionally, not physically." They make-out a bit and repeat to each other that they're falling in love before Arie has to go on his next date.
Lauren B. is up next. They fly around and look at Nazca lines. It's the Paris date all over again- she has walls up and says it's been hard and she's thought about leaving. Arie is concerned. That evening though, they break through a wall, and Arie tells her he loves her and she says she loves him back. The rest of the evening and the morning after their Fantasy Suite is mostly them making out and saying I love yous.
Becca gets the last date, and they ride around on a catamaran and then go out on the dunes at night. She says I love you and Arie pulls a Ben H and tells a second girl he loves them. Their Fantasy Suite is a tent on the dunes, and have a morning picnic in the sand filled with more I love yous.
Now for the real drama: some guy shows up to win back his girl! This guy is named Ross and goes to Arie first. He has a monologue about how he heard Becca was on the show and that the show ends in a proposal and he started reaching out to everyone he could and then flew a red-eye to Peru when he found them. He also mentioned multiple times that he would have swam there if he had to. Arie asks him some questions, so we find out that Ross and Becca dated for 7 years and broke up a year ago. Arie is angry, and Ross runs off to find Becca. Becca is not thrilled to see him. He gives a little speech about wanting her back and she tells him they aren't living in The Notebook. It is clear Becca is not going to run off with him, so, to his credit, Ross says "I wish you guys the best; I had not business being here." Becca goes to check in with Arie to make sure this doesn't ruin her chances with him.
And now time for what I can only imagine is the most awkward of rose ceremonies: all of them know the other two women there probably just slept with Arie too. Arie pulls Kendall aside to break up with her. Kendall cries in the leaving car, while Arie gives Lauren and Becca roses and an awkward toast.
Next week we're promised lots of this:
Lauren B. is up next. They fly around and look at Nazca lines. It's the Paris date all over again- she has walls up and says it's been hard and she's thought about leaving. Arie is concerned. That evening though, they break through a wall, and Arie tells her he loves her and she says she loves him back. The rest of the evening and the morning after their Fantasy Suite is mostly them making out and saying I love yous.
Becca gets the last date, and they ride around on a catamaran and then go out on the dunes at night. She says I love you and Arie pulls a Ben H and tells a second girl he loves them. Their Fantasy Suite is a tent on the dunes, and have a morning picnic in the sand filled with more I love yous.
Now for the real drama: some guy shows up to win back his girl! This guy is named Ross and goes to Arie first. He has a monologue about how he heard Becca was on the show and that the show ends in a proposal and he started reaching out to everyone he could and then flew a red-eye to Peru when he found them. He also mentioned multiple times that he would have swam there if he had to. Arie asks him some questions, so we find out that Ross and Becca dated for 7 years and broke up a year ago. Arie is angry, and Ross runs off to find Becca. Becca is not thrilled to see him. He gives a little speech about wanting her back and she tells him they aren't living in The Notebook. It is clear Becca is not going to run off with him, so, to his credit, Ross says "I wish you guys the best; I had not business being here." Becca goes to check in with Arie to make sure this doesn't ruin her chances with him.
And now time for what I can only imagine is the most awkward of rose ceremonies: all of them know the other two women there probably just slept with Arie too. Arie pulls Kendall aside to break up with her. Kendall cries in the leaving car, while Arie gives Lauren and Becca roses and an awkward toast.
Next week we're promised lots of this:
 |
| (sorry for the terrible quality- I just took a picture of my computer screen...) |
"But this is the Bachelor!"
Women Tell All this season should have just been called Women Rehash the Same Drama We Already Saw. They really just had the women explain some drama, yell a bit, and then moved on to the next drama reenactment.
First drama to consider: glam-shaming. As Brittany T said, "it's not a real thing!", but here we are. The girls argue pointlessly about this, to no resolution.
Chris Harrison moves on and tries to bring up the Bekah's age drama by calling out Tia for telling Arie she didn't think Bekah was ready for marriage. Bekah gets defensive and starts to lecture Krystal, which just turned into everyone yelling at Krystal, so she gets brought up to the hot seat.
Krystal basically doubles down on defending her behavior and everyone else just gets more and more worked up. Caroline yell-cries at her, Bekah makes a lot of faces, and Krystal concludes by changing the topic completely and saying her homeless brother saw her on the Bachelor and didn't realize people cared for him and is now getting help.
Sienne get's pulled up to the front to be complimented, basically. She tells Chris Harrison she's single and dating, so if he knows anyone he should send them her way! To which Chris Harrison replies, "it is what I do!"
After that nice little interlude, it's back to the drama with Bekah M, to yet again defend her age. If Bekah didn't get so defensive and wasn't so hyper, I'd almost believe her. She's perfect for Bachelor in Paradise though, and Chris Harrison agrees. After bringing up the crazy story of how Bekah ended up on a missing persons list in Humboldt County (she went to a pot farm, didn't have reception, and her mom freaked out), Chris Harrison makes Bekah call her mom on speaker phone and tells her "there's a good chance she'll be missing for two weeks this summer."
Tia, being the last girl here that got sent home, gets brought up to the hot seat toaudition for the Bachelorette talk about how Arie broke her heart but that she's ready to find love again.
Last up, Arie has to face 18 of his ex girlfriends. They allude to some DRAMA yet to come, with Caroline ominously saying to Arie, "I know what you did. And I don't know how you could do that, and I just really don't understand." More on that presumably next week...
Before we move on to Bloopers, Krystal inserts herself back into the hot seat to ask why Arie's goodbye was so cold. Arie responds that looking back (after watching her on the show), his goodbye was pretty appropriate. Oh, and apparently she told the other girls that Arie has a small penis, which wasn't clear because they kept bleeping something, but context clues leads me to believe the words were "needle dick." So that happened.
Then we actually get the bloopers which included lots of girls scared by insects and Arie messing up in interviews and saying "merp." After the bloopers, we are inexplicably joined by John Cena, who we shortly learn is there with Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholz to promote their new movie Blockers. Then they try to make a Bachelor crossover of women getting "blocked" from stealing Arie from other girls. It's a bit lame, but the movie they are promoting also looks a bit lame, so what can you do?
First drama to consider: glam-shaming. As Brittany T said, "it's not a real thing!", but here we are. The girls argue pointlessly about this, to no resolution.
Chris Harrison moves on and tries to bring up the Bekah's age drama by calling out Tia for telling Arie she didn't think Bekah was ready for marriage. Bekah gets defensive and starts to lecture Krystal, which just turned into everyone yelling at Krystal, so she gets brought up to the hot seat.
Krystal basically doubles down on defending her behavior and everyone else just gets more and more worked up. Caroline yell-cries at her, Bekah makes a lot of faces, and Krystal concludes by changing the topic completely and saying her homeless brother saw her on the Bachelor and didn't realize people cared for him and is now getting help.
Sienne get's pulled up to the front to be complimented, basically. She tells Chris Harrison she's single and dating, so if he knows anyone he should send them her way! To which Chris Harrison replies, "it is what I do!"
After that nice little interlude, it's back to the drama with Bekah M, to yet again defend her age. If Bekah didn't get so defensive and wasn't so hyper, I'd almost believe her. She's perfect for Bachelor in Paradise though, and Chris Harrison agrees. After bringing up the crazy story of how Bekah ended up on a missing persons list in Humboldt County (she went to a pot farm, didn't have reception, and her mom freaked out), Chris Harrison makes Bekah call her mom on speaker phone and tells her "there's a good chance she'll be missing for two weeks this summer."
Tia, being the last girl here that got sent home, gets brought up to the hot seat to
Last up, Arie has to face 18 of his ex girlfriends. They allude to some DRAMA yet to come, with Caroline ominously saying to Arie, "I know what you did. And I don't know how you could do that, and I just really don't understand." More on that presumably next week...
Before we move on to Bloopers, Krystal inserts herself back into the hot seat to ask why Arie's goodbye was so cold. Arie responds that looking back (after watching her on the show), his goodbye was pretty appropriate. Oh, and apparently she told the other girls that Arie has a small penis, which wasn't clear because they kept bleeping something, but context clues leads me to believe the words were "needle dick." So that happened.
Then we actually get the bloopers which included lots of girls scared by insects and Arie messing up in interviews and saying "merp." After the bloopers, we are inexplicably joined by John Cena, who we shortly learn is there with Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholz to promote their new movie Blockers. Then they try to make a Bachelor crossover of women getting "blocked" from stealing Arie from other girls. It's a bit lame, but the movie they are promoting also looks a bit lame, so what can you do?
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