All about the Benjamin

And we're back!  With the perfect (yet thinks he's unlovable) Ben at the helm, 28 girls show up to the bachelor mansion ready to embarrass themselves on national tv find love.

I could go through all of the limo entrances, but let's just cut to the good stuff:

Because insecurity and wine is always a good idea

Lace aka SNL's girl you wish you hadn't started a conversation with at a party (if you haven't see it, look it up- Cecily Strong is great).  While managing to act fairly normal around Ben (if you call kissing him with his eyes closed and then asking for another kiss later normal), drunk Lace shares her internal monologue constantly.  Things we learn:  she hates the giant rose hat girl, she thinks thinks she way prettier than everyone else, she likes white wine, she's super insecure, and eye contact is really important in her life.  After she miraculously pulled through with the last rose of the night, she confronted Ben because apparently he didn't make eye contact with her during the rose ceremony.  Ben has no idea what she's upset about because she got a rose.

Other ladies who got a rose are:
Haley and Emily, the twins, who are just perpetuating all the terrible stereotypes of twins
Caila, who broke up with her boyfriend because she though someone on TV was cute
Becca and Amber, who both from Chris Soule's season (Becca made it to the top three and is a virgin, Amber didn't make it far in Chris' season or in Bachelor in Paradise, so maybe third time's a charm?)
Mandi "I am the first impression rose," who is a weird dentist from Portland
Jubilee, a war veteran, who seems like a front runner despite the fact that statistically she won't last long as a black person on this show
Lauren, three of them, actually
Shushanna, who spoke Russian the whole time
Olivia, the news anchor form Texas who got the first impression rose
Jami, who is from Canada so obviously knows Kaitlyn
Leah, Samantha, Amanda, Jackie, JoJo, Rachel, and Jennifer.

At least they showed up night one,
 unlike a certain Nick V we all love to hate

The girls who went home were:
Isabel, who wore pajamas and lead with the line "you're the onesie for me"
Maegan, who brought Lil' Sebastian
Tiara, the chicken enthusiast who got an intro segment but was barely seen at the cocktail party
Laura, who apparently has the nickname Red Velvet, but other than that seemed pretty normal (redheads never seem to make it past night one- I guess Bachelors are afraid of gingers)
Lauren R., who opened with "I stalked you on social media" as if A) no one else had her same skill of using the internet and B) that wasn't a creepy way to introduce yourself to someone
Breanne, who not only made sure Ben knew she didn't eat gluten, but made him help her destroy some delicious looking baguettes because "Gluten is Satan"
Jessica, who I know literally nothing about, except that she's a brunette because Ben kept all the blondes.

Stock up on wine and get ready for tears, kisses, bikinis, a black eye, and more tears!  It's Bachelor season!