"Villains gotta vill"

First off, I'm not a fan of their new format of rose ceremony at the beginning, cliffhanger at the end.  I like a little closure each week!  Also, the rose ceremonies are more bearable once I've had more wine.

But onto the show: first off, in a not so dramatic rose ceremony, Kaitlyn sent home Edward Norton and a blond guy after telling Kupah to leave, again, which he did, but not without some Fireball for the road.

JJ apparently never sees the sun.

The first group date was sumo wrestling, so more guys can literally fight for Kaitlyn.  It was ridiculous and the other guys got to watch/laugh.  Tony "eyes of a child, heart of a warrior, soul of a gypsy" had a huge problem with the date.  Violence and being primal is not his thing, and he ranted about peace and love and going to the zoo.  He had some good points, but real dates don't make good TV and has he even seen this show before?  No one cares how the contestants feel (remember last season when the girls had to race tractors downtown LA in bikinis?  This show may be sexist, but at least it's equally bad to both sexes? or something?).  The zoo would make a nice date, Tony, but Kaitlyn is afraid of birds, so that's not going to happen.  Anyway, Kaitlyn liked the date, so maybe Tony's just not a good fit for her.  Plus his bonsai trees really wanted him back home.  The other guys didn't have any problem being MEN and slamming into each other wearing thong diapers (which were totally NOT sexy, Kaitlyn).

Onto the one-on-one!  Chris Harrison planned the most terrifying date ever: lock Kaitlyn and Ben Z. in a haunted room and make them search for clues to get out.  Kaitlyn was acting like a complete wimp, which to be fair, is exactly how I would act in a situation like that.  They got out and we learned Ben Z. is a total "babe soda" with a tragic dead mom story and everyone loves him.

A single dude who has never been in love is probably not the best person to teach you how tampons work.

For the second group date, a bunch of 20-something men teach children sex ed!  They are hilariously awkward and the kids overreact to everything.  Other Ben does a cute lesson on creating a child that is not really accurate, but wins points with Kaitlyn, so everyone overlooks it.  These kids learned nothing.  And to the folks saying how wildly inappropriate that all was: yeah kids shouldn't learn sex ed from some dudes on a reality tv show, but sex ed is really important and maybe teaching kids about their bodies/sex/safe sex/etc might help with some of our problems with teen pregnancy/stds/rape/generally kids making bad decisions.  Knowledge is power, guys!  Also, what was with all of the bleeping out words?  I'm sure those guys weren't cursing at the kids.  And the black bar with the tampon demonstration?  Seriously?  Is America not ready for periods?

Moving forward, Kaitlyn spends some time with the guys and is concerned that Joshua isn't moving fast enough in their relationship.  But wasn't Kaitlyn's big thing last season not opening up right away?  I think she just wants to make-out with everyone. Then she goes on about how hot Jared is with a black eye, which is a little concerning.  And she's impressed that Jared's "comfortable with his sexuality."  I mean, it's a tough world out there for straight, cis, white men, so that really sets him apart.

BBFs (best bros forevah)

So Clint turns out to be there for the wrong reasons.  We get to see a lovely montage of Clint and JJ's budding bromance (They both like turtles!).  To be fair, their friendship will probably last longer than the relationship Kaitlyn gets out of this show.  And shouldn't we be glad they found each other in that sea of JV croquet players?

Tune in next week when "Clint is gonna go down in flames" (dramatic, much, Kaitlyn?).