"You sit at home and judge other people and are like 'I'm fine'"

Thank you, Amy Shumer, for summing up why it's fun to watch the Bachelorette (especially when single).

My feelings exactly, Amy.

And now, ten things we learned from this week on the Bachelorette:

1. If you ask a bunch of men who are competing to date you to literally fight for you, someone WILL get hurt.
2. "If she says you take my breath away and you're SCUBA diving, that's drowning"
3. If you want a group date rose, having a dead mom trumps being a single dad.
4. Some guys apparently think being smug and cocky is attractive, when in fact it makes you look like a turd.
5. Every kiss begins with Ka(itl)y(n).
6. No one understands Tony.  I believe when he said "Love is perennial as the grass," what he actually meant was "I am perennialy high on grass."
7. Kaitlyn likes movies and movie quotes, guys!  Wow, thanks Kupah, for revealing this about her- I just love learning unique things about people!  Girls usually hate movies and movie quotes! Kaitlyn's such a catch!
8. Saying "But you're hot" is not going to win you back a girl.
9. To be continued... is still the worst way to end an episode.
10. Britt and Brady are together!  No one cares!  Bring back the bloopers in the credits, ABC, I don't need to see more montages of Britt and Brady sharing ice cream.

In other Bachelor news:

In a shocking turn of events, Chris and Whitney break-up rumors might actually be true now!  Sad day for Bachelor Nation.