"From Ben to 26 new men"

We left off last season with heartbroken JoJo going home to Texas while Ben H. and Lauren B. rode off into the sunset of love.  We begin this season in less than a fortnight, where we'll get to meet the 26 men vying for JoJo's heart in person, but for now we are left to judge them based on one picture and answers to some less than inspired questions (i.e. "what's your favorite flower?" and "are you more party starter, wing man, or laid back?")

I get the kilt (probably heritage related blah blah blah)
but a Santa costume?  He'd better have a great pun to go with it.

The guys are aged 25-34 and include 2 Canadians, 8 Californians, 5 Floridians, 2 guys from JoJo's home state of Texas, and then some guys from other random states.  Six of them look to be not white dudes, which sadly seems super diverse for the Bachelor franchise.

Here are some gems from the guys' bios:

• Brandon, a 28 year old from LA, has the profession of "hipster."  So, ugh, already.
• Chad (first off, his name is Chad) answered three questions similar to "who do you admire most in the world and why?" with "myself in 10 years, alright, alright, alright" and thinks his greatest achievement in life is being born good looking, which is more your mom's achievement, but ok.
• Derek is a 29 year old commercial banker who (a) hates cucumbers and (b) has a serious fear of fluffy kittens.  So clearly there is something wrong with him (to my readers who may not know this about me, I LOVE cucumbers.  Also, more obviously, fluffy kittens.)
• Daniel is a 31 year old male model who used a lambo (as in Lamborghini, the luxury car) as a metaphor for his body not once, but twice.
• Evan is a clear winner: he's a 33 year old erectile dysfunction expert who's favorite kind of dancing is "booty" and doesn't like girls with chipped nail polish or serious food allergies.
• James S. is 27 years old and apparently his "occupation" is Bachelor Superfan.
• James Taylor is a singer-songwriter named James Taylor.
• Jordan is a former pro QB, and for all my sports/Bachelor cross over fans, is the younger brother of Aaron Rogers currently playing for the Green Bay Packers.  And when asked what the wildest thing he's done in the bedroom, he answered with trying to hang a TV on the wall with out a stud finder.  Hot.
• Nick S. is a software salesman who doesn't like "scary cheeses" and I don't know what that means.
• Robby was the only guy to not answer the favorite flower question with "rose, duh," and instead went for honeysuckle.
• Wells is a 31 year old radio DJ who doesn't like pizza or cats, and what the hell man.

The rest of the dudes seemed pretty ok, or at least had no super weird answers to questions.  But then, the ones who seem normal at first often have a little bit of drama hidden up their sleeves.  So stock up on that wine and I'll see y'all in 10 days for The Bachelorette Premiere!