"I said I'd follow my gut, but I've been following my heart"

This season looks to be the South American tour, as the guys head to Buenos Aires, Argentina.  JoJo and Chris sit on a bench and discuss feelings.

The guys are then informed by a distant Chris that there will be a one-on-one date, a group date and ANOTHER two-on-one date.  Oh shit.

Why is Chris Harrison standing so far away?
Were the guys not allowed to shower or something?

Wells gets the one-on-one date with the date card not so subtly telling him to kiss JoJo.  "I'll be frank here.  I'm the one guy here who hasn't kissed her," Wells says to a silent room.  The guys seem more concerned with the fact that Wells hasn't kissed her than the fact that the six other guys they live with have all been macking on her.  JoJo comes to pick up poor, nervous Wells, and Luke straight up asks "are you guys going to kiss today?"  To which JoJo says, dryly, "that's funny. Isn't it."

Their date starts off wandering through a street market in Buenos Aires, where Wells "buys" JoJo a bracelet.  They then go to this performance called Fuerza Bruta which consists of strange performance art involving a suspended pool and fake shooting a guy on a treadmill.  I can't help but note how tall Wells seems, but then I realize we usually see him amongst ripped, tall, jock-bros with enormous hair.

Unsurprisingly, JoJo and Wells have to learn this performance art and end up kissing in a shallow pool.  "That was the moment, Wells, that was the moment!  We did it!" yes JoJo, because apparently she judges everyone by kissing alone.

It seems to be going swell for Wells who has "a little tingle in [his] heart," until he talks about realism in relationships and is skeptical about JoJo's belief in unicorns.  He does't get the rose; both Wells and JoJo cry; the guys are surprised when Wells' suitcase gets taken.  JoJo inexplicably goes to a rave to sadly think about her choices.

A weird place to go after a break-up...

On to the group date!  Luke, Robby, Jordan, James Taylor, and Alex go play soccer with some local folk.  Luke says this is "the best Sunday afternoon I could ask for," and I worry about him, because the best Sunday afternoon I could ask for does not include four other competitors for my boyfriend's affection, but maybe things are different in Texas.  The guys are total jocks except James Taylor who is being all modest about how the other guys are HAWT and he just doesn't see himself "as this sexy dude."  So of course he's the only one to score a penalty shot and win a kiss from JoJo.  In true, dorky, James Taylor fashion, he says he's "on a train to ILoveJoJoville."

Aside from a very steamy-get-a-room-make-out with Luke, the big story of the evening portion of the group date is James Taylor snitching on Jordan to JoJo.  Apparently, Jordan is a gorgeous entitled d-bag, and James Taylor just had to tell JoJo.  JoJo confronts Jordan about this and he is so defensive, he doesn't even know what entitled means.

Worst confrontation ever: JoJo's body language clearly indicated
she was going to forgive whatever Jordan may have done.

Things are awkward, to say the least.  Jordan swirls his wine ominously, and the other guys are like, WTF mate???  The best part (the worst part?) is that this all came out of a rules of poker fight.  Anyway, Luke gets a rose, and Jordan is pissed because he still doesn't know what entitled means.

awkward turtle much?

Now on to the two-on-one!  Guaranteed drama!  Or, just an awkward learn to tango date with one too many guys...  JoJo exclaims that "there are three of us, but it only takes two to tango," right before it is announced they are doing a three person tango.  It's weird and Derek and Chase both look stoically uncomfortable.  That evening, JoJo kisses both of them, but chooses Chase because he attempts to open up after she basically told him he had to.   She also told him that she wishes she had opened up to Ben sooner... because... then maybe she'd be with him and not with these losers?  It was a weird feelings pep talk.

Derek cries and talks in the third person in the back of a van, while Chase and JoJo kiss to "Don't cry for me Argentina;" and if that's not good editing, I don't know what is.

Don't cry, Derek, you'll find your Pam in the end.

We actually get a cocktail party this week, where everyone who hadn't smooched JoJo this week got to.  Jordan wants "to do life with [JoJo]" and is also "glad [they] can go through tough stuff like that;"  "that" being James Taylor calling him entitled and if being called entitled is "tough," how are you not entitled?

Let's move on to the rose ceremony, when, in a huge plot twist, JoJo offers Chris Harrison a rose!!!

Like, who are these bozos?  You are the only real man here,
Chris Harrison.  Will you accept this rose?

Just kidding.  JoJo freaks out and decides not to send anymore dudes home tonight.  Alex is upset he got a "pity rose" and no one understands why he got any rose at all.