31 Flavors

Contestant bios are up, and I read them so you don't have to!  Although I have to say they are more varied and interesting than usual, probably because they are older and smarter than usual since Rachel is older and smarter than most of the Bachelor family.  The men all seem to like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Denzel Washington and/or Elon Musk.  Most of them don't seem to realize that skydiving isn't that outrageous.  Most of them have real careers, and they are between the ages of 26 and 35.  Nine of them come from California, seven from Florida, four each from Texas and Chicago, then one each from Wisconsin, Connecticut, Tennessee, Las Vegas, Georgia, New York City, and Michigan.  No Canadians this season!

So without further ado, here is a tidbit about each of Rachel's suitors:

Adam's most embarrassing moment was telling his mom he was going on The Bachelorette.  Though I think it will change to when his mom reads his cast bio and finds out his idea of the most romantic gift he's received was a threesome on his birthday.
Alex has eaten a live salamander.
Anthony describes his favorite book "like a dream I don't want to wake up from."  I like Anthony.
Blake E. was engaged to "a crazy girl" for 48 hours and also hates cat people.
Blake K. wants to be The Rock, not because of all the cool stuff he does, but because he can pull off a fanny pack.
Brady like to tackle snowmen.
Bryan listed seven qualities when asked what his three best attributes were.
Bryce once caught a girl's hair on fire during sex.  Good thing he's a firefighter, amiright?
Dean has a tattoo on his inner lip.
DeMario claims that "when [he's] married with children [he] will own a pet lion and name him 'Denzel, the lion.'"
Diggy is apparently really into day drinking, so should feel right at home on this show.
Eric would like to live in a time "before money was involved," and I'm not sure that he knows that time is before the Stone Age.
Fred had a crush on his camp counselor when he was young, which is a boring fact until you learn that this camp counselor was Rachel.
Grant say's his favorite magazine is "Playboy? ;)"
Iggy says his three best and worst attributes are "Passionate, loyal, and witty" and I'm sensing this guy likes answering the "what are your biggest weaknesses" question in job interviews.
Jack Stone's favorite flower is a tulip because it's "basically, roses without thorns" and he's either never seen a tulip or never seen a rose.
Jamey does not have female friends, which seems like a red flag.
Jedidiah talked about how much he liked his trip to South Africa, in part because it "has very real problems like HIV and violence," and that's right, he a privileged white dude.
Jonathan has an ex-wife, and by the sound of it, waited until marriage to have "uneventful" sex.
Josiah says his worst date ever was being catfished, since the women turned out to be pregnant, and dude, that's not catfishing.
Kenny has a daughter and wants to live in Ancient Egypt.  Those two things are unrelated.
Kyle doesn't know what gluten is, but often orders gluten-free if it's on the menu.
Lee thinks he could somehow learn to make booze if he were stranded on a desert island with just "a hook, the right girl, and a fire source."
Lucas' ideal mate looks like one of these fictional white ladies who don't look anything like Rachel: Belle, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, or Jessica Rabbit.
Matt's worst date memory was a Tinder date since he realized online dating wasn't for him.  I feel like going on TV for a date will be much worse.
Michael played pro basketball in Bulgaria.
Milton thinks being romantic shows you're week, so it's really good he's going on a show where everyone's required to make fools of themselves for "love".
Mohit is going to dress up as gluten for halloween.
Peter likes Modern Family because it's hilarious and carefree, which makes me wonder if he's really seen it, because I get so much secondhand embarrassment from that show- hilarious, but not at all carefree.
Rob wants to be Superman, one reason being that he's "also a US alien, like me!" which I'm not sure is a witty way to say he's an immigrant or if he's trying to tell us he's not really human?
Will's worst date is "every tinder date ever," and again, going on a TV show to date a girl with 30 other boyfriends is much worse.

So that's who we get to meet Monday night!