"Nick is back, alright!"

Thanks to a "To Be Continued..." at the end of last week's episode, we have to sit through yet another recap of the Liz Situation, a cocktail party, and a rose ceremony before I've been able to drink enough wine to care about who goes home.  Surprising only to Nick, the Liz Situation is hardly a situation considering Nick's past on the Bachelor and being known for, well, having sex.  Next up we see what really had the girls shocked and upset in all the previews: Corinne.  Corinne is in this to win it, and clearly thinks the way to do this is to continue to throw her boobs at Nick.  She comes out to talk to Nick wearing a trench coat, not at all subtly indicated she's wearing nothing else.  And if that wasn't suggestive enough, Corinne makes Nick lick whipped cream off the top of her chest.  Nick worries the other girls might see and judge him (like all of America is doing now), and practically jumps at the next person who walks by to steal him away.  Corinne has a meltdown because their "conversation" didn't go how she planned.  It appears the mix of sugar in  the whipped cream, alcohol, and crying really wears her out because Corinne then sleeps through the rose ceremony.  Hailey, Elizabeth, and Lacey don't get roses, which is fine by me considering I still have no idea who they are.

trying to create a "sexual, mysterious connection"

Onto a new day!  None other than boy band legends the Backstreet Boys visit the mansion to invite Danielle L, Christen, Kristina, Whitney, Taylor, Jasmine, and Corinne to be back up dancers for their show.  The girls scream and BSB sings a little acapella I Want it That Way and for once I'm actually jealous of these bimbos.  The chosen ladies go rehearse with Nick and you'd think that would be fun, but Corinne's on this date, remember?  She's not great at dancing so she doesn't feel pretty and isn't happy when not the center of attention.  The other girls have a blast.  BSB choose Danille L to get a special serenade with Nick, which sounds great, but really they awkwardly slow dance on stage while the boys sing I Want it That Way again and kiss while the rest of the girls watch uncomfortably.

Corinne really didn't have much to worry about, only two
of the group were decent dancers, and Nick was not one of them.

The evening portion of this date has one of the most amazing conversations on the Bachelor ever.  After Corinne chats with Nick about how she's bad at "planned dancing",  she takes a nap and then returns to chat with the other ladies.  She begins by announcing that she wants to get a boob job, but, like, just a little one.  Another girl agrees, but says she's waiting until after she has kids.  Corinne responds that she can't imagine taking care of kids considering she "can't even handle [herself]."  She follows that up with "I need to get Raquel ready for that."  The other girls ask who Raquel is, and Corinne tells them it's her nanny and she and Jasmine have this exchange:
J: Do you have kids?
C: no
J: Why do you have a nanny?
C: I'm a kid *giggle*
J: wait how old are you?
(she's 24)
She goes on to talk about how Raquel keeps her life together and "makes [her] cucumber and, like, vegetable slices" as well as "lemon salad" and "cheese pasta."  When the other girls ask if she knows how to do laundry, she replies that Raquel does it and says, "But you know what?  It makes her happy and I'm not going to stop a woman's happiness."  It makes me wonder if Corinne knows that a nanny is a paid position.  She also says "I miss Raquel so much.  I've had to do some big girl stuff; I don't like it" and I wonder just how much of Corinne's life Raquel does for her.

Danielle L receives the group date rose, but this doesn't worry Corinne since "Danielle L is beautiful, but that's really about all I see and not much more, unfortunately." ugh.

Vanessa is the lucky lady who gets a one-on-one date this episode and Nick takes her to fly in a plane that lets you experience zero gravity.  It actually looks amazing until Vanessa starts puking.  Nick handles this really well and even kisses her after she's done puking.  Now that is true love.  That evening, they talk about family and Vanessa reveals she almost didn't come on the show, but received a sign from her recently dead grandpa.  Nick gets so emotional about the whole process and cries because Vanessa is making him hopeful.  So that was... nice, I suppose.

Clearly kissing is the best use of weightlessness

Group date number two takes Rachel, Alexis, Astrid, Jaimi, Sarah, Brittany, and Dominique to a track where they get to meet Olympic athletes Allyson Felix, Carl Lewis, and Michelle Carter.  They are there to compete in a "Nickathalon," which I'm guessing is a word Carl Lewis was not thrilled to say, though at least he didn't have to tell the ladies "the gold is Nick's heart" (poor Michelle).  The events are a long jump next to a cardboard limo, a javelin throw into a giant heart, high jump onto a picture of Nick and then three girls get to run the 100m dash to a giant ring and some hot tub time with Nick.  Astrid, Alexis, and Rachel get to compete in the dash, and Rachel clearly wins.  Unfortunately, she knocks over the ring which gets smashed, and Astrid bringing up the rear snatches up a piece to win the hot tub time.

I wonder where this giant shirtless Nick tarp ended up?

Evening arrives, and you'd think without Corinne, it will be drama free, but nope.  Dominique doesn't think Nick gave her enough attention, cries in the bathroom, and then confronts Nick, who sends her home.  Rachel gets the rose, but not until after she basically explains Stockholm Syndrome to Nick, and how she has it.

In a twist that happens around this time every. single. season., Chris Harrison visits the mansion to tell the girls the cocktail party has been cancelled, and instead they are having a pool party!  Everyone seems to be having fun until Corinne takes Nick to a bounce house that happens to be set up on the driveway and straddles him.  The other girls are not impressed and one by one relay their concerns about him validating Corinne's behavior.  Raven drops the nanny bomb on Nick and says "she didn't know how to clean a spoon."  Vanessa tells Nick she's not judging Corinne, but rather Nick's actions, which is a kind of new idea on the Bachelor: that the contestants can decide whether or not they like the qualities of the lead.

The episode ends here, so we'll have to wait until next week to see how Nick responds.

aaaand one more picture of the Backstreet Boys for good measure