Act 1: The Corinne Show
Act 2: The Liz Situation
Act I
The scene opens in the Bachelor mansion where the girls patiently await the first date card, which reads "Always a bridesmaid..."
A dozen of the ladies get to participate in a wedding photo shoot with Nick! Corinne says she's never been a bridesmaid and that "in [her] dream world, today [she] would just be marrying Nick." To be clear, in her dream world, Corinne would essentially be marrying some guy she met at a party and drunkenly made-out with. So anyway, the girls are given either themed wedding dresses or bridesmaids dresses and they begin doing funny wedding shoots with Nick and a photographer straight out of a cheesy 90s movie. Corinne is thrilled because she got the "beach wedding" theme meaning she's wearing a bikini top and other girls are more modestly dressed in their gowns. BUT OH NO, Brittany walks in with just a leafy bikini bottom (she got the Adam and Eve themed wedding shoot), and Corinne is not having it. She pouts while the other girls cheer on and support each other- especially Brittany who is stuck wearing next to nothing on national TV.
So after some cute and fun wedding shoots, it's Corinne's turn, and she does not disappoint. Not to be outdone by Brittany as Eve, she takes her's and Nick's tops off in the pool during the photo shoot. And not to be outdone by herself, she suggests Janet Jackson-ing it and they do. Corinne is just thrilled that Nick touched her "bare bosoms." She continues to talk about her boobs: "no one has ever held my boobs like that," which isn't surprising considering Nick was holding her boobs in front of 11 of his other girlfriends on TV during a photo shoot, which I don't care how glamorous your life is, that probably hasn't happened before. She continues this thought with "...no one ever will," which sounds a little ominous.
The evening portion of this date continued along this vein. Nick seemed to at least start having nice conversations with the other girls, but then Corinne steals him away to make-out some more. After Corinne steals Nick away from Taylor, Taylor decides she wants to finish her conversation with Nick and steals him back. Corinne then goes on a rant about how she thinks it's rude. She claims she goes about things very classy, and then switches into 3rd person: "The way she did it was very directed toward Corinne. I'm like, Taylor, If you take a direct hit at Corinne, I'm going to say something." She does say something, but that something was a weird passive-aggressive asking Taylor if she's okay repeatedly. When that shockingly doesn't instigate a fight, she announces to the group that's things are going to get uncomfortable and that everyone just needs to be there for Nick and for them selves and that she would rather get Nick than friends out of this whole situation. Then, to everyone's dismay, Nick gives Corinne the group date rose. The girls start to wonder what Nick is looking for in a woman and whether or not they need to start taking their tops off for roses.
~Intermission~
Danielle gets the first one-on-one date. They take a helicopter to a yacht with a hot tub, just to get some Bachelor date clichés out of the way. In the evening portion, Nick "opens up" about being publicly dumped twice and Danielle M opens up about finding her fiancé dead from a drug overdose. As Lacey says, "like, I didn't even know girls were that nice," which actually makes me concerned about Lacey's friends. Though she is quite nice, which is why we saw so little of this date: no good drama other than a tragic story.
Act II
The scene opens back at the Bachelor mansion. Liz looks coyly around as the girls talk about how Corinne has already kissed Nick...
Liz is overanalyzing her past with Nick. And by overanalyzing, I mean repeating that she met Nick at Jade and Tanner's Wedding and slept with Nick over and over and over again. She finally decides she needs to tell someone besides every cameraman on the show and confides in Christen, who promises she won't tell anyone. Spoiler alert: she tells someone.
For the second group date, Nick takes six ladies to The Museum of Broken Relationships, which statistically they will all be a part of soon when they fail to win a rose from Nick in the next few weeks. They wander around looking at sad things people left behind after a break up, including the ring Nick picked out for Kaitlyn. They then stumble upon a couple "breaking up" in the museum, when they are informed they will all have to break up with Nick in front of an audience. They wander around getting inspiration and Liz tries to talk to Nick who is avoiding her. The fake break-ups are amusing and awkward- Josephine even slaps Nick, and then we get to Liz. She pulls out a prepared speech about how they met and shared a night and he broke her heart or something. Christen is freaking out because she knows it's true, but the other girls are just confused.
That evening, Nick says he is living his nightmare. To be clear, Nick's nightmare is dealing with 22 girls who want to fall in love with him and having already slept with one of them. Anyway, Liz's speech "definitely made [him] a little uncomfortable," but mostly because he's worried about her telling the other girls. All of his fears come true when Christen tells him what Liz told her. Nick goes to talk to Liz because he wants to know if she's here for him or just using a past relationship to get on TV (as if that's something he's never done). She doesn't hold up well under questioning so he sends her home. Nick decides he has to tell the rest of the ladies everything. He tells the five remaining ladies on this date that he met her at a wedding and then, awfully bluntly for someone worried about the response, that "Liz and I had sex that night."
Fade to black.
Side Note: Christen would be the perfect audience member for After the Final Rose:
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